Tasty Cake


Anomaly #: 072
Code Name: Tasty Cake
Tier: Low
Anomaly Type(s): Chemical
Hazard(s): CHEM-01
Department(s) involved: Chemical Research Dept.
Discovery: New York, New York 1982

Picture of AEP-072 in docile state

Description: AEP-072 is a sentient cake, which is divided into 12 equal slices which reform to the original structure over a 24 hour period. The regrowth process will occur at exactly 01:00 GMT+0. AEP-072 looks and tastes like a standard home-baked 12x4 inch cheesecake, and weighs approximately 13 pounds. AEP-072 usually has a light cream like the color but will change to a darker, almost gray color when communicating with another living organism.

Eating only one slice of AEP-072 has consistently made subjects happy, as well as making them exhibit slightly enhanced cognitive abilities. The change in pigmentation is currently under investigation by Association researchers. Although dissection of the individual slices reveals that AEP-072 contains no organs, such as those found in organisms with higher brain functionality, the anomaly is fairly intelligent. Removing slices from the overall cake does not impact the way the AEP looks or acts, as long as there is more than one slice remaining. Upon the cake tray being completely empty, the anomaly will not respond until at least one slice has regenerated fully.

Reports show that eating more than one slice of AEP-072 in less than 24 hours results in severe addiction problems for multiple personnel inside of the facility. Therefore, testing permission is now required from a member of staff with Division-III or higher level clearance. Eating all twelve slices has resulted in [DATA EXPUNGED]. Personnel are to be physically restrained and amnestied with Grade-B amnestics if they attempt this at any time. Subjects are to be reclassified as AEP-072-1 after eating all 12 slices and are to be terminated immediately after testing.

AEP-072 was discovered 3 days after Easter, in 1982, by local metropolitan police after they discovered a mentally retarded homeless man quoting Shakespeare with AEP-072 in his possession. Upon further investigation, AEP-072 was discovered to have regenerative properties and was taken by the MET office as a piece of evidence. Four Association agents, under the guise of federal agents, recovered the object later, and civilians involved were administered amnestics. Currently, AEP-072 is to be stored at Site-17 until ways to stop the negative side effects of the anomalous item are fully researched.

Addendum: Anomaly seems to communicate by changing colors to respond to simple questions using Morse code. Upon hearing a complex question through unknown means, the subject will enter a stage of confusion for approximately 30 minutes where all anomalous properties are lost. Subjects have said that the flavor of each slice was 'unusually bitter' during this period and exhibited none of the anomalous properties. Further testing is still pending approval.

Maintenance Protocols: Considering recent incidents, AEP-072 is to be kept in a secure steel storage box until further notice. Division II Clearance is required for access to AEP-072. All direct experimentation of AEP-072 is to be conducted using O-class personnel with no genetic history of diabetes. No more than one slice is to be removed from AEP-072 at any given moment, except during testing.

Value assessment: This item has no use to the Association, although, it may be administered to those suffering from Clinical Depression, as it has proven extremely useful in that area.

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