SCP-ES-277: Almarduk

SCP-ES-277: Apéndice nulla — Procedimiento de Contención TERRA ARGENTEA



SCP-ES-277: 0/4 RPC Authority/ES/S-34/2007


SCP-ES-277: Documentación Principal


Ítem #: SCP-ES-277 Nivel 7/ES-277
Clasificación del Objeto: Keter Clasificado

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NOOOOO NO POR FAVOR NOOOOOO LA CONCHA DE TU VIEJA PUTO DEL ORTO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO POR FAVOR BASTA FUERA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Procedimientos Especiales de Contención: SCP-ES-277 debe ser contenido en una máquina de escribir Remington '47. Otros procedimientos serán innecesarios.

Descripción: Hello. So, yeah, this is an SCP format. In an RPC page. Crazy, right? Fuck you for questioning it. And fuck you for not knowing Spanish. O tal vez si sabes, en cuyo caso te amo.

I don't think it'll be necessary to explain what my nationality is after seeing the page theme. I bet you're thanking God I put this div so you wouldn't have to directly look at the Argentinian flag in order to read this. Comfy, right? The theme is from Tarbolin's author page. Swell dude, 5 star him.

Some other things about me;

  • I'm a former SCP-ES writer. That's Spanish SCP, by the way. No pedos involved, unlike our english-speaking equivalents.
  • This page is littered with references to SCP-ES you will never understand. Have fun trying.
  • fuck the UK
  • RCPA and Children of Nihil are the only good Groups of Interest
  • RPC-101, 745, 579, 438, 464, 494, 722, 749, 917, 068, 983, and 052 are my favourite RPCs
  • That was a lie, RPC-052 is mine and it sucks

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Sé de SCP-ES-277 que su mecanismo yace durmiente. Este acciona el rodillo, y zafa apenas moviendo la palanca & la "n" o "w" hacia el ojo, desviando los índices a la derecha, y ordenando sus uniones. lost, or simply excursioning ?


SCP-ES-277: 1/4 RPC Authority/ES/S-34/2007


SCP-ES-277: Apéndice I — Articles I Wrote


SCP-ES-277a: Main RPCs

  • RPC-549Broken Glass & Twisted Metal

Kinda mediocre Remnants thing. Does some stuff with ACS, but is generally just boring.

Rewrite of a deleted article in SCP-ES I wrote. Again, quite boring — I planned a huge entire series based on the steel box that shows up somewhere. In fact, it appears in RPCs 747 and 052.

My attempt at doing something "Metaphysician Style." It's a pretty early version of the Children of Nihil, so most of the article is kinda lacking.

My dear Lightning-in-a-Bottle Top 10 article. First "modern" Children of Nihil RPC, and inspired by Calgary's and Glasgow's Gideon Keys.

Kinda neat thing, actually — about wyrms, ghosts, and the author's wishes.

Generally pretty bad rewrite of an old article by JetAirliner.

  • RPC-661Unbek-Tief and the New God

A collab with KaiserXIKaiserXI, who duped my unwitting ass into plagiarizing Bloodborne (not really). Somehow my second Top 10 article.

My attempt at setting the pieces for the Children of Nihil, their cosmogony, and a metric fuckton of worldbuilding and imagery. Very proud of this one. Was originally meant to be a metacommentary on how many fucking eyes there are on this website.

My Omega Iota article. In memory of Lord Baubius. This is one of my proudest articles ever. About demons hidden beneath Madrid and an internet forum.

  • RPC-866The Arrow and the Flood

A genuinely mind-shattering writing experience: rewriting the meme format screw article. It's pretty fucking dark and pretty fucking long. Collab with FortunaeFortunae and moist breadmoist bread who did way more than me — I came up with the general structure, the beginning and ending, and they did everything good.

  • RPC-833Where Saints Came to Die

I'm not very proud of this one, but it's there. About Cloverfield Institute, something under the Zone of Silence, body snatchers and things going very, very wrong. Massive help from 8ismo8ismo.

  • RPC-379SPIRAL HELL / INFIERNO ESPIRAL

My proudest article ever, my magnum opus, and my first Budget Cuts entry. Some of my most conventional but most detailed storytelling. This went through 16 iterations through 5 years, even before I knew SCP existed. Tried it as an SCP, a Spanish SCP, an RCPA article, and an RPC.

  • RPC-727Dream ahead [that] [you] suffer, [then] dream back [that] [you] live.

Incredibly fucking autistic collab with TheGreatTarbolin69TheGreatTarbolin69. Very proud of this one, was very fun to crunch at 4 AM write. Some of my best writing experiences ever.

  • RPC-420The Dread Frog Turtle

Fun fact — this was started more than a year ago. One and a half, actually. Started as a stupid chat shenanigan and devolved into an actual thing. It's so old that when we picked it back up it had the TTPY format, lol. Pretty fun collab with Minutemen does not match any existing user name and TheGreatTarbolin69TheGreatTarbolin69.

  • RPC-844Something Affront to God

I really liked this one, but it just didn't seem to work. About a plane crash, radiation, and something worse.

  • RPC-647RED SCYTHE: The Maybe-There Soviet Laser

Was really fun to write, and the first short article I write in genuinely more than a year. About a Soviet weapon that may or may not exist and a weapons engineer that may or may not exist, and the difficulties in determining whether they do or do not exist.

  • RPC-847Malaysian Airlines Flight 370

LAST Budget Cuts entry, and surprisingly second most successful one. This one's pretty cool, I think it manages to master some of the aspects of mystery that I always want to succeed at.

  • RPC-472Thirteen-Pointed Crown

I'm really not sure how I came to write this. I just had the imagery and title in my head, and wanted to write a weird thing that was just a weird thing. Originally, it went just to the first addendum, but Tarb insisted I expand it so I did. Pretty happy with the result! Another Nihil article, this time about a spooky crow that watches the Authority from up above.

  • RPC-538The Holder of Splinters

Originally a draft by TheGreatTarbolin69 that didn't fly, I stole his idea and poured some of my mystery autism on top, plus sprinkled references to RPC-899. It didn't do really well in terms of ratings, but the comments I got were more than worth it. A homage to the especially retarded history of this site, and the great broken telephone game of fiction. Yes, the title is a reference to exactly what you're thinking.

This was actually written on November of 2020, but I was never quite happy with it for whatever reason. I just decided to scoop it up and finish it one day. It's really flawed in its execution and specifics, but I don't think I could do it any better. About disappearances that just keep happening.

  • RPC-590Nine Thousand Lives & The Witchcraft of the Angra Mainyu, Who Is All Death

My entry for the Myths & Magic contest! All of this article was written with the intent to be easy to follow, despite being horrendously schizophrenic and never deciding what it wants to focus on. People found it engaging for some reason?? About a demonic ritual to revive cats and how NOT to use it for power generation. For some inscrutable reason, this got top 10.

A collab with the awesome ieatcrepesieatcrepes, probably my favorite site author. About the rot at the heart of the worldwide economy, and how we are forced to feed a monster.

My attempt at handling mathematical ideas that I really, really don't understand. Probably the hardest thing I ever wrote since 379. Ironically it probably has far less of me than most of my works: the idea was inspired by RPC-244 by Von PincierVon Pincier, the execution was helped by TheGreatTarbolin69TheGreatTarbolin69, the conclusion by a video he sent me on the subject, most mathematical aspects were helped by either Generic3Generic3 or Minutemen does not match any existing user name, and the graphs were made by Agente ShuffleAgente Shuffle and televisionisttelevisionist. About anomalous numerology, neural networks being obsessed with the Golden Ratio, and being far more right than we could've ever anticipated.

I'm not sure what to think of this one, really! On one hand, I'm pretty proud of it — I think I managed to write down a fairly complex narrative without making everything needlessly obtuse or difficult to follow, which has always been an issue for me. On the other… It made me realize that a lot of my articles follow the same format and progression, aka are pretty formulaic. I really, really don't wanna be a creatively bankrupt author. About John Chase Patterson, people trying to be him, and how all of this means bad, bad, bad bad bad business.

  • RPC-927Stars Don't Die In Silence

I wrote this one for my mom and she really liked it. It was originally in Spanish, which I think is fairly noticeable — kinda wooden sounding. My shortest article by far too, less than 1k. About how the people we loved shine as stars before waving goodbye.

This is my New Frontier entry. I crutched the fuck out of the contest by making it only barely about the Old West and way more about ancient MI13 kino. There's also an RPC-002 cameo no one noticed lol. About lightning canes, ancient curses fighting the British empire, and how the kindness of two men may save the day.

  • RPC-159Pseudo-Transmissible Transformative Encelopathy

This one. Huh. It started out as continuous intrusive thoughts about "cheese" being the funniest word conceived by Man and a self-made meme about future-predicting cheese mold. At some point, I decided to write a science-heavy article about how the entire human brain could be replaced by a cheese mold replica without you realizing, which Minutemen does not match any existing user name loved so much as a concept he decided to collab with me — and carry my ass extremely fucking hard. We couldn't really decide where to take the hilarious concept of brain cheese out of the million options we had so we just went with every single one of them. Quite possibly my and Dexo's best article.

  • RPC-470There Are No Angels Here

Technically not only a double rewrite of two contest entries, but also a sequel to RPC-477. It's more or less a gigantic jumble of old/scrapped ideas mixed into a schizophrenic early internet-themed bowl. If you trace this far back, it starts off as a haunted children's book and mysterious number station, then evolves into a secret underwater facility, then crosses paths with a memetic subculture about a murdered woman, then becomes a dead giant buried under Africa, then travels down to Antarctica and mingles with the most insane of conspiracy theories. Yeah, it's got a long history. An achievement almost entirely by Prototype_ToasterPrototype_Toaster with plotting and editing by me, plus the start and ending. All of the good parts are his.

SCP-ES-277b: Children of Nihil Collection

RPC-747 » RPC-052 » RPC-448 » RPC-338 » RPC-661 » RPC-866 » RPC-472

SCP-ES-277c: Budget Cuts Collection

RPC-379 » RPC-727 » RPC-420 » RPC-844 » RPC-647 » RPC-847

SCP-ES-277d: Omega Iota Collection

RPC-562 » RPC-477 » RPC-470


SCP-ES-277: 2/4 RPC Authority/ES/S-34/2007


SCP-ES-007: Apéndice III — Things I Did


Contest Entries:

2nd Place

Below Zero Event

RPC-747 — Black Downpour

fuck you fox i was going to win


1st Place

Three Random Hazards Contest

RPC-052 — Hollow and Drowning


3rd Place

Cair Aisling Event

RPC-448 — A Wyrmspire


8th? Place

Misfortune Contest

RPC-013 — PERFECT DARK


3rd Place

Myths & Magic Contest

Tied with The Roar of War by Doctor LupinDoctor Lupin

RPC-590 — Nine Thousand Lives & The Witchcraft of the Angra Mainyu, Who Is All Death


2nd Place

New Frontier Event

ANOMALIE OBSCURA No.828 — DR. E. KINGSTON and SIR FREDRICK against the HAND OF DEATH!


2nd Place

Broader Horizons Contest

Tied with The Mandorla Part 1: Dead Bird by VizloxVizlox

RPC-470 — There Are No Angels Here

With Prototype_ToasterPrototype_Toaster!


Division Reworks + Other Site Pages:

SCP-ES-007: 3/4 RPC Authority/ES/S-34/2007


SCP-ES-277: Apéndice IV — Things I Eventually Want To Do


  • World-build about RCPA's Argentina.
  • Write about an Authority division of semi-sane Nihil cultists, and how they reconcile both groups' apparently contradictory goals. Hopefully much depression. (Kiiinda done?)
  • Write more around RPC-992, specifically the steel box that appears in 747 and 992.
  • Write an info-plane article. (lol)
  • Write a collab. (stop laughing) I haz friends now =)
  • Write an alternate reality where the Authority is a society of potentially mentally ill people who are the only ones capable of perceiving anomalies and feel the world going to shit in front of their eyes while everyone else is oblivious and thinks them mad. Ambiguity between whether there are actually anomalies. They'd name themselves "Maintenance Union."
  • Write AEDF article. BLOOD DEBT WITH VON PAID
  • Write Howler article.
  • Hopefully port my space series from SCP-ES. (SOON) (FUCK)

SCP-ES-277: 4/4 RPC Authority/ES/S-34/2007


SCP-ES-277: Apéndice V — When I Die



SCP-ES-277: 5/4 RPC Authority/ES/S-34/2007

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