Amen! Amen! Amen! Amen!

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Day 1:

This is my dream journal.

Not for real dreams. It's just where I talk to myself.

It isn’t written, because they don’t allow paper. I don’t know I can write, either. I've never tried.

It isn’t spoken, because I don’t have a mouth. They took that from me (I know how to read, though).

I’ll say I’m writing. It's simpler.

It’s here (under my bed).



I’m here.

I am a good person. I am a faithful servant.

That is what He tells me.


Day 2:

I have brown hair. One day they didn’t cut it short quick enough. It grew out.

It’s beautiful. I read about people with hair in the encyclopaedia on the shelf.

I don’t know why they cut it.

I don’t know.


Day 3:

Why?

He tells me I have been a good person.

I have given them what they want. Who they want.

I am the ratcatcher. I am what they send out in the night. I play with the ones who don’t work out.

I am a good person. I am a faithful servant.

That is what He tells me.

Why did he let them touch me?


Day 4:

I do not know where I came from.

I have always been special. They let me out for play dates five times a week. I am loved. He loves me, and what He would do for me is always good.

I do everything for Him. It is how it works.

They gave me toys last week. I have a purple dinosaur. They told me it was a dinosaur because of its name. Coelophysis, I got the name from Father. It was a terrible lizard.

Travelling.


Day 5:

I was on a ship last week. Father was at a meeting. He gave me to his friends at the bar. They told me I was good at what I did. I danced for them.

The wind outside was very strong. Cole almost fell overboard, but someone saved him for me. She called herself Rachel. She was nice.

I made her go away. She was touching Cole (Cole is my dinosaur).

They were inside, I had to go back in. Father saved me from them, they were not being nice. I don’t like it when they do that.

He loves me so much.

I am a good person. I am a faithful servant.

That is what He tells me.

Alleluia!


Day 6:

Train tickets. I met a girl but she had to go away. I met a boy but he had to go away too. There are faces on the wall of the room I am in. Shadow puppets like the show. They are lizards.

There is no heating in the building I am in. I am cold.

I hug Cole. He is warm-ish, but not warm enough. I am calling for Father now.

There are monsters on the floor below me. I hear them scream through the vents. I think they are cold too.

Father hugs me every hour.

The faces on the wall don’t scare me anymore.


Day 7:

These aren’t real days. I hope you (I) know that. They’re minutes I can think.

I don’t like thinking usually. It’s difficult. The spines in my skin make it hard.

It’s testing week this week. Father let them go in. They’re hurting me, I don’t know why.

I prayed to Father. He didn’t come until later. I don’t know why.

Testing, testing.

I don’t know why.

He loves me.


Day 8:

Red on the walls. Red on the floor.

I’m an entertainer. I entertained them. Father loves me. I made them go away, then I left.

Then I left.

I am a good person. I am a faithful servant.

That is what He tells me.


Day 9:

Cole is so nice to me. He is the only person who doesn’t yell. He is the only person who doesn’t kick me. He is the only -

He’s a dinosaur, not a person. I’m silly.

That’s a joke. The first known use of the word 'joke' was in the year of our Lord 1670.

I tried telling my father the joke. He took Cole away.

Hollow Form. That is what Cole’s name means.

I'm not hollow!


Day 10:

New room. The ground is moving outside. I see light through the bars.

Children are behind me. They’re screaming, they’re screaming. The needle men come. They are quick.

Father let me go to them today. He wanted me to see them.

I tried to make friends, but I just made them red.

It was a bad play date.

He does this because He loves me.


Day 11:

Neon lights. Butcher’s shop.

Blaring sirens and men over speakers. I’m cold. Father’s running, I’m running too.

Escape.

It’s an escape.

We have to run from them.

There’s people coming in with big guns. Triangles. They don’t like it here.

I got shot. They tried to make me go away.

I don’t want a play date no more!

Father told them to Die.

Why?


Leaving.


Day 12:

Money.

A medium of exchange.

The children were money.

Am I money?

For one’s money.

In their opinion.

What’s my money? What’s my opinion?

I know Father’s money. I know their money. I don’t know mine.

The Needles came. I’m cold again.






I am a good person. I am a faithful servant.

That is what He tells me.



I’m loved.


Day 13:

It’s been a while.

I’m in a bar.

Wait no-

I’m in an alley.

Wait no-

I’m not there anymore.

I made someone go away.

Father’s hugging me.

He gave Cole back.

I love God so much.


Day 14:

Men in loud voices talk in the lounge. I made smoothies for them.

They’re talking about someone important. Knives, guns, money.

Children, animals, women, men, things.

Monsters.

They call me a monster.

I’m not, right?

Cole doesn’t think I am.






Joking, joking.


Day 15:

Birds are outside. I love birds.

They have wings, and beaks, and they can leave.

I want to leave. I want to fly.

My wings are clipped. My feathers are gone.

The men with triangles did it. That’s what Father tells me.

Is that a joke?

Cole doesn’t reply. He just hugs me.

Praying, praying, praying.


Day 16:

Show’s on. We’re epic!

We’re the magic man!

We’re the circus!

We give people what they want!

Yeah!

Shipment from Japan. 5 to go. 5 to stay.

Amen!

I tried to dance but my compartment was too small and I couldn’t get up in it.






Time to go.


Day 17:

Bang Bang. Bang Bang. Bang Bang.

Triangle men are back!

Bang Bang. Bang Bang. Bang Bang.

I don’t think Father loves me.

Bang Bang.

Scientist Man’s here. He’s got horns and a tail.

Bang.

Needles! Keep playing the game!

Bang.

I'm scared.

Bang.

Yeah.

Bang.

We stuck the landing! We’re out!

father’s not God. He’s just a man!

Joking?


Day 18:

CEO’s not happy.

I’m horsing around too much. Not making them go away right.

Not fixing them. Not working, not working.

Procedurally generated text.

father’s such a hack. I can’t say anything, he stitched my mouth!

Amen! Amen! Amen! Amen!

father’s a hack, and I’m the living dead!

Living Dead.

Resurrection time!


Day 19:

I don’t play with people. I kill them. The failed ones. The experiments gone wrong.

I'm the rat catcher, I come in the night. I'm the rat-catcher. I kill the monsters that don't work.

I'm the rat-catcher, I'm not loved.

I’m a bad person. father doesn’t love me. I’m praying to someone different now.

The cross man in the books. It’s a better feeling.



Yeah.


Interlude!

This show's almost through!

I just killed a child. I'm not sure why.

That's what I've done. That's what I am.

Adieu!


Day 20:

Hugging Cole. Ripped Cole open. They were recording me. They were recording me.

They were recording me.

Cole, you were so good at hugging. Why did you have to join them?

You always liked my jokes.


Day 21:

father hugged me today.

I made sure he didn’t.

Devil's gone! Devil's gone!

Red carpet, au revoir!

Jumping out the window.


Day 22:

Window didn't work. They've got me. They've got me now!

Yeah, whatever.

Chains.


Day 23:

Chains.


Day 24:

Chains.


Day 24252627282930

ChainsChainsChainsChainsChainsChainsChains.


Day 31:

Chains.

Yeah.

Guns again. They forgot about me. I killed someone, was getting rid of them.

Men with triangles found me. They take me. I don’t know where.

I don’t know where.


Day 32:

father's friends found me. Triangle men couldn't keep me in!

I danced and danced.

father's dead, but they want my head.

My head, my head, my head.

I'm dead!

Triangle's here to protect me.

Triangles die. father's friends die.

I pull too hard. I break their necks. It's everywhere. God, it's everywhere.

Wet, oozing. Gone. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

Be right back, going to pray.








Amen.

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