Catalog Of Lesser Anomalous Items

Forward: In addition to containing Major Anomalous objects, the RPC Authority also contains numerous Lesser Anomalous Items. These items are always Alpha in classification and frequently mundane in nature. The majority of lesser anomalous items are contained at Site 016 'The Warehouse'.

The Lesser Object Format can be found here under the "Lesser Object" section.

Designation: LO-051
Description: One (1) sheet of paper with the word "fuck" written on it in black felt-tip marker.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any human being who directly observes LO-051 will loudly proclaim that the object is "deep" and "says a lot about our society". The affected individual will also temporarily develop technophobia and prosophobia for a period of two weeks after exposure.

Designation: LO-052

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LO-052.

Description: One (1) Safari Ltd. brand figurine of a pterosaur belonging to the Rhamphorhynchus genus. Figurine measures approximately 17.83 centimeters in length from tip of head to tail.

Site Location: Site-016

Properties: Whenever a human finger is placed inside of LO-052's mouth, LO-052's lower jaw will spontaneously clamp upwards onto it, despite LO-052 seemingly having no physical means of doing so. LO-052's jaws can be forcibly pried open with minimal effort while in this state, and the finger can then be safely removed.

Designation: LO-053
Description: Four (4) Tomee™ brand Nintendo DSi styluses.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each instance of LO-053 anomalously produces black pen ink from its tip when placed upon a piece of paper. LO-053 will not display these properties when placed upon any other surface. As such, all four instances of LO-053 can be used both as a stylus and a writing implement.

Designation: LO-054
Description: One (1) male specimen of Hydromantes brunus3, measuring 6.25 cm in length.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: X-ray analysis, as well as limited biopsies, indicate that LO-054's skeletal system is entirely composed of polyethylene. Subject otherwise appears to be in healthy physical condition despite this anomaly.

Designation: LO-055
Description: One (1) vinyl record of Green Day's 2009 album 21st Century Breakdown.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When played on any record player manufactured after December 31, 1999, LO-055 will disintegrate the record player into elementary particles in a matter of seconds. Research has indicated that the time to complete disintegration is directly correlated with how far away from December 31, 1999 the record player was manufactured.

Designation: LO-056
Description: One (1) 0.56 cm3 sample of pumice.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Sinks instead of floating, despite being physically and chemically identical to ordinary pumice.

Designation: LO-057
Description: A white, Crayola-brand crayon.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can only be described in writing using white colored text. Using any other color leads to smears and smudging, making the description unreadable, even in a digital interface.

Designation: LO-058
Description: One empty cylindrical salt shaker, measuring 4 cm height, and 2.5 cm diameter.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon holding the salt shaker, it will be filled with a variable amount of salt depending on the current emotional state of the holder. Testing has shown that the amount of salt will be higher the more distressed, upset or angry the holder is. Shaking the object will apply salt to whichever surface is located below. Analysis of the salt reveals it to be identical in structure to non anomalous sodium chloride.

Designation: LO-059
Description: One (1) TC-223 Rolling Office Chair
Site Location: Currently stored dismantled at Site-016
Properties: When sufficient weight is applied, LO-059 will begin rolling in the direction its seat is facing, gradually gaining speed. Current highest velocity achieved was roughly 80mph after 6 minutes.
Note: LO-059 has been dismantled and locked behind level 3 clearance following the injuries sustained by Dr. ████████ and Officer █████ in a supposed 'workplace accident'.

Designation: LO-60
Description: Daisy Red Ryder Model 1938b BB gun
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: BB’s fired from LO-60 explode violently upon impact, similarly to that of a standard fragmentation grenade.
Hand engraving found on stock reads, "You'll shoot your eye out!"

Designation: LO-61
Description: Surface damaged US quarter piece
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If a simple yes or no predictive question is asked and the coin is flipped, the outcome predicts the answer to the question asked.
Note: Stop using this to find out what color underwear the staff are wearing. It embarrasses everyone.

Designation: LO-62
Description: Collection of 18 paper documents
Site Location: Site-016 Anomalous Document Archive
Properties: Documents contain a series of hand-drawn visual cognitohazards which render human beings incapable of speaking in or comprehending words of more than one syllable. Effect naturally disippates within 12 hours of exposure. Documents created as part of early Authority memetics research in 1932.

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