Catalog Of Lesser Anomalous Items

Forward: In addition to containing Major Anomalous objects, the RPC Authority also contains numerous Lesser Anomalous Items. These items are always Alpha in classification and frequently mundane in nature. The majority of lesser anomalous items are contained at Site 016 'The Warehouse'.

The Lesser Object Format can be found here under the "Lesser Object" section.

Designation: LO-051
Description: One (1) sheet of paper with the word "fuck" written on it in black felt-tip marker.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Any human being who directly observes LO-051 will loudly proclaim that the object is "deep" and "says a lot about our society". The affected individual will also temporarily develop technophobia and prosophobia for a period of two weeks after exposure.

Designation: LO-052

LO-52.jpg

LO-052.

Description: One (1) Safari Ltd. brand figurine of a pterosaur belonging to the Rhamphorhynchus genus. Figurine measures approximately 17.83 centimeters in length from tip of head to tail.

Site Location: Site-016

Properties: Whenever a human finger is placed inside of LO-052's mouth, LO-052's lower jaw will spontaneously clamp upwards onto it, despite LO-052 seemingly having no physical means of doing so. LO-052's jaws can be forcibly pried open with minimal effort while in this state, and the finger can then be safely removed.

Designation: LO-053
Description: Four (4) Tomee™ brand Nintendo DSi styluses.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Each instance of LO-053 anomalously produces black pen ink from its tip when placed upon a piece of paper. LO-053 will not display these properties when placed upon any other surface. As such, all four instances of LO-053 can be used both as a stylus and a writing implement.

Designation: LO-054
Description: One (1) male specimen of Hydromantes brunus3, measuring 6.25 cm in length.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: X-ray analysis, as well as limited biopsies, indicate that LO-054's skeletal system is entirely composed of polyethylene. Subject otherwise appears to be in healthy physical condition despite this anomaly.

Designation: LO-055
Description: One (1) vinyl record of Green Day's 2009 album 21st Century Breakdown.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When played on any record player manufactured after December 31, 1999, LO-055 will disintegrate the record player into elementary particles in a matter of seconds. Research has indicated that the time to complete disintegration is directly correlated with how far away from December 31, 1999, the record player was manufactured.

Designation: LO-056
Description: One (1) 0.56 cm3 sample of pumice.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Sinks instead of floating, despite being physically and chemically identical to ordinary pumice.

Designation: LO-057
Description: A white, Crayola-brand crayon.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can only be described in writing using white colored text. Using any other color leads to smears and smudging, making the description unreadable, even in a digital interface.

Designation: LO-058
Description: One empty cylindrical salt shaker, measuring 4 cm height, and 2.5 cm diameter.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon holding the salt shaker, it will be filled with a variable amount of salt depending on the current emotional state of the holder. Testing has shown that the amount of salt will be higher the more distressed, upset or angry the holder is. Shaking the object will apply salt to whichever surface is located below. Analysis of the salt reveals it to be identical in structure to non-anomalous sodium chloride.

Designation: LO-059
Description: One (1) TC-223 Rolling Office Chair
Site Location: Currently stored dismantled at Site-016
Properties: When sufficient weight is applied, LO-059 will begin rolling in the direction its seat is facing, gradually gaining speed. Current highest velocity achieved was roughly 80mph after 6 minutes.
Note: LO-059 has been dismantled and locked behind level 3 clearance following the injuries sustained by Dr. ████████ and Officer █████ in a supposed 'workplace accident'.

Designation: LO-60
Description: Daisy Red Ryder Model 1938b BB gun
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: BB’s fired from LO-60 explode violently upon impact, similarly to that of a standard fragmentation grenade.
Hand engraving found on stock reads, "You'll shoot your eye out!"

Designation: LO-61
Description: Surface damaged US quarter piece
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: If a simple yes or no predictive question is asked and the coin is flipped, the outcome predicts the answer to the question asked.
Note: Stop using this to find out what color underwear the staff are wearing. It embarrasses everyone.

Designation: LO-62
Description: Collection of 18 paper documents
Site Location: Site-016 Anomalous Document Archive
Properties: Documents contain a series of hand-drawn visual cognitohazards which render human beings incapable of speaking in or comprehending words of more than one syllable. Effect naturally dissipates within 12 hours of exposure. Documents created as part of early Authority memetics research in 1932.

Designation: LO-063
Description: A meteorite of unknown composition
Site Location: Site-099
Properties: The phrase "We apologize for the inconvenience." found carved in one side in standard English.

Designation: LO-064
Description: A 40yr old man with an average build and height
Site Location: N/A
Properties: Within 3 seconds of pressing a traffic crossing button, it will allow him to cross regardless of the current traffic. Due to the disruptions this created, Authority agents have circumvented this by relocating him to a small country town in ██████, Virginia.

Designation: LO-065
Description: A collection of various holiday photos taken by holidaying Authority personnel
Site location: Site-016
Properties: A rare phenomena will occur (<10%) when personnel return from vacations that swaps every person visible in their photos with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He will be posed as the original persons were and will share the same facial emotion.

Designation: LO-66
Description: A 6.35cm tall slinky made from high-grade blue-black Swedish steel.
Site Location: Site-16 storage
Properties: When pushed down a flight of stairs in a flipping motion, LO-066 will immediately demanifest and reappear at the bottom of the stairs.

8-inch-Telescope-Leah.jpg

LO-067.

Designation: LO-067
Description: One (1) antique tripod-mounted spyglass.
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Looking through LO-067 causes viewer to be teleported to the location they were viewing. Additionally, the viewer's size will change should LO-067 be used to view something too close to LO-067. See experiment log for more details.

Designation: LO-068
Description: One (1) Leopard 1A5 Main Battle Tank (Outfitted with Rheinmetall L/44 120mm cannon)
Site Location: Site-002
Properties: Subjects operating LO-068 will percieve all other motorized ground vehicles as Soviet T-72 tanks, and will begin to fire upon them.

Fuzzy_Chickens_at_Ukraine_zoo.jpg

LO-069.

Designation: LO-069
Description: Ten (10) female Gallus gallus domesticus4 of the Silkie breed.
Site Location: Agricultural Site-042
Properties: Instances grow fleece instead of feathers, at a rate analogous to domestic sheep, and do not produce eggs. Regular shearing is required to maintain physical health.

Designation: LO-070
Description: Twenty-three (23) kilograms of lime-flavored Jell-O.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When ingested by a mammalian organism, LO-070 will induce a soporific state in the subject directly proportional to their body weight and the amount consumed. Research is underway for possible reproduction and usage in insomnia medication production.

Designation: LO-071
Description: One (1) copy of Johnny Test: Season 6 on DVD.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: After visual perception of any of its contents, subject will perceive auditory hallucinations resembling the cracking of a whip for a period of 24 hours immediately afterward.

Designation: LO-072
Description: One (1) copy of the album Mega by Blank Banshee on vinyl.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Can only be described with full-width text, regardless of the medium it's being described in.Additionally, induces a temporary feeling of euphoria in the listener when listened to for an extended period of time.
Note: Possible links to RPC-956 are being investigated.

Designation: LO-073
Description: Four hundred and twenty-six (426) Allium cepa5.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When an instance of LO-073 is cut by someone, the instance will release an unknown gaseous chemical that when ingested via respiration, will force the subject to involuntarily and immediately empty the contents of their bladder, rather than releasing syn-propanethial-S-oxide6 like non-anomalous onions.

Designation: LO-074
Description: One (1) Nokia 3310, manufactured in 2000.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Subject appears to be completely indestructible. Tests have shown it to withstand temperatures in excess of 10,000 degrees Kelvin, nearly 7.7 x 10^8 kilopascals (kPa), as well as continuous submersion in fluoroantimonic acid7 for over two and a half years.

Designation: LO-075

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LO-075.

Description: A rubber bouncy ball, measuring 1.07 centimeters in diameter and weighing 0.16 grams.

Location: Unknown. Hypothesized to be within low earth orbit.

Properties: When bounced upon a surface, the kinetic energy of LO-075 increases, rather than decreasing due to transferral of kinetic energy to the surface it bounces off of. Subject exceeded escape velocity on ██/██/1989, and has since been suspected to be within low earth orbit.

Addendum: Subject is widely believed to have caused substantial damage to a Verizon communications satellite on ██/██/2007, likely increasing its velocity in the process. Due to the inherent risk LO-075 poses to satellites and spacecraft, recontainment and/or termination procedures are currently being drafted, and classification to full RPC status is pending.

Designation: LO-076
Description: One (1) Red Clown Nose
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When worn by a human, people around them will begin to laugh uncontrollably and will continue to do so until the wearer takes off the nose.

Designation: LO-077
Description: A slightly damp piece of bread
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When interviewed, LO-077 will relentlessly mock site personnel, while discussing classic literature.

Designation: LO-078
Description: A vase containing three (3) instances of Helianthus annuus8
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When smelled by an individual with a deceased or missing family member, they will later have a pleasant dream involving the family member. Grieving subjects will also begin to accept the loss of the individual sooner than usual for grieving subjects.

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