Catalog Of Lesser Anomalous Items

Forward: In addition to containing Major Anomalous objects The Authority also contains Lesser Anomalous objects. These items are by nature Alpha-White in classification and frequently mundane in nature. The majority of lesser anomalous items are contained at Site 016 'The Warehouse'

The Lesser Object Format can be found here under the "Lesser Object" section.

Designation: L-001
Description: Stapler
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Seemingly holds an infinite amount of staples.

Designation: L-002
Description: Blueprint paper and canvas
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Makes a 1/100th model appear of any building plan drawn onto it, and then becomes blank again.

Designation: L-003
Description: Jar of mayonnaise
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The lid of the jar is impossible to move or turn no matter the force applied.

Designation: L-004
Description: Pallet of lottery tickets
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When scratched, the amount won is anomalously deposited in the pocket of whomever scratched it. Maximum winning amount is 25 USD.

Designation: L-005
Description: selling display of sunglasses that says "Visit sunny California!"
Site Location: Site-009
Properties: When worn by a sentient creature, the view through the lenses changes to a sunny but unidentifiable Californian beach. Used by Site-009 to demoralize prisoners.

Designation: L-006
Description: Samsung Galaxy A6
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held by a sentient creature, the phone will emit the sound of an explosion every thirty seconds.

Designation: L-007
Description: Mechanical Pencil
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When placed on a surface, object will float 1.524 meters (5 feet) above the surface for five minutes before falling.

Designation: L-008
Description: Solid iron statue
Site Location: Biological Test Site-40
Properties: Depicts Finnish smith deity Ilmarinen. Constantly maintains an even surface temperature of 106 degrees Celsius. Currently an integral part of Biological Test Site-40's emergency power generation systems.

Designation: L-009
Description: 14 x Miniaturized Air-to-Air Nuclear Rockets
Site Location: Radiological Storage Site-68
Properties: Objects are functionally identical to AIR-2 "Genie" nuclear rockets at 300:1 miniature scale. Objects appear to function as normal, generating a 1.5kt nuclear blast when activated.

Designation: L-010
Description: Artificial Pacemaker
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Causes painful heart fibrillation whenever its implantee makes a charitable donation or volunteers their time towards a charitable event or benefit. Otherwise functions normally.

Designation: L-011
Description: IPhone 5s with a lightning bolt case
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item never runs out of charge. The material of the batteries is currently unknown and under study.

Designation: L-012
Description: Pair of denim pants
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item renders the wearer invisible, however, only in the area the pants cover.

Designation: L-013
Description A 100-watt GE light bulb
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Light constantly emanates from the bulb even when it is not connected to a power source. Currently being used to light the Site Leader's custom desk lamp.

Designation: L-014
Description: A brand for cattle meat with an ancient Jewish inscription.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Makes a semi-sentient and fully loyal animated golem out of any quantity of meat branded. Meat will become inanimate and fall apart if the mark of the brand is removed or destroyed.

Designation: L-015
Description: A species of mushrooms
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Mushrooms are made entirely of silicate despite having the same growth cycle as common mushrooms. Only 3 grow at a time, a new mushroom growing when a previous dies.

Designation: L-016
Description: A 22.7-kilogram sack of "jelly bean" candy
Site Location: Site-016 Missing
Properties: Eating the candy induces sensations of extreme euphoria. Candies are identical in chemical composition to non-anomalous instances.

Designation: L-017


Example of the visual anomaly.

Description: Black-framed window pane

Site Location: Site-016

Properties: Looking through the glass of the window pane reveals a dramatically different environment of the location than the current observed one. Scenes and environments displayed through the window are observed in daylight and are described as "dystopian, post-apocalyptic, deserted" or simply "the end of the world."

Designation: L-017
Description: A meteorite of unknown composition
Site Location: Site-099
Properties: The phrase "We apologize for the inconvenience." found carved in one side in standard English.

Designation: L-018
Description: M16A1 Rifle
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: User will faintly hear Fortunate Son by the band Creedence Clearwater Revival upon the expenditure of the first cartridge in any loaded magazine. Persists until the rifle is reloaded.

Designation: L-019
Description: Roll of toilet paper
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon observation, the paper of the roll will unravel in the opposite direction of the user's preference. Video surveillance shows the roll to be unopened and unrolled.
Note: This piece of ███████ ████ is going into the emergency supplies, I won't be dealing with this every ███ ████ time I go take a ████ in sector █ -Dr. ██████

Designation: L-020
Description: Nintendo GameBoy
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When activated, the user will mentally enter the game and be able to consciously enter inputs much faster than normal.

Designation: L-021
Description: Amazing! Co. "eco-friendly" computer mouse
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The mouse, when plugged into a computer, turns into an organic mouse that can still be used for pc input.

Designation: L-022
Description: IKEA EKENÄSET Armchair
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When sat on, any language the user speaks is interpreted as Swedish.

Designation: L-023
Description: Bugatti Veyron
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon entering the vehicle, the user's personality changes, becoming both egotistical and elitist. This personality change is temporary, lasting approx. 5 days.

Designation: L-024
Description: A 1982 copy of Blade Runner.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When viewed on any screen, the viewer is anomalously transported into the world on-screen, and forced to become an extra for the duration of the film before being returned to their original position. Viewers describe being unable or unwilling to interfere with the production of the film.

Designation: L-025
Description: A low-wattage coherent energy weapon
Site Location: Site-99
Properties: The weapon shoots a LASER beam capable of releasing 1 kW of energy in a single blast. The handle and trigger were designed for a three-fingered creature. It is believed to have belonged to a Selohssa soldier prior to its recovery.
Note: Selohssa have yet to be documented in this solar system. This might mean that there are actual Selohssa in the solar system and not just probes. Though how it got to the moon of all places is beyond me. -Dr. Khan.

Designation: L-026
Description: Immortal Fish Animate fish toy
Site Location: Site-███, Currently in the break room aquarium.
Properties: The fish needs no food and has not expired past its species' natural lifespan.
Fish has been found to be an incredibly well-made rubber toy, but still moves like a natural fish.

Designation: L-027
Description: Adidas-brand Tracksuit
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When worn, The subject is only able to speak in English with a poor Russian accent attempt. If the subject does not speak English, their voice will automatically be translated into it.

Designation: L-028
Description: A portable toilet
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When exiting, the user is put out of a random portable toilet anywhere in the world. Practical testing is ongoing.

Designation: L-029
Description: Color digital camera
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When used to photograph a location, that location will suddenly experience chromatic abberations similar to the effect of the northern lights phenomenon until the phtograph is destroyed. Research is being made into any connection with RPC-050

Designation: L-030
Description: One (1) CZ 75 semi-automatic pistol
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: L-030 appears to have an infinite amount of 9×19mm Parabellum cartridge in its magazine. Item was found inside RPC-111.

Designation: L-031
Description: One (1) oz of Human blood
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: Cells inside the blood seem to be able to conduct electricity extremely well. Chemical analytics shows blood to contain an unknown undiscovered element.

Designation: L-032
Description: One (1) Tyrannosaurus rex skull
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The item has the phrase “Get rekt, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!” at the base of its skull. L-032 has been dated to be 65,000,000 years old.

Designation:f L-033
Description: One (1) Pen
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: L-033 seems to contain an infinite amount of red ink. It’s hypothesized that a spatial anomaly exist somewhere within the tube that contains the ink.

Designation: L-034
Description: One (1) Pair of Nike’s Air Jordan
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item L-034 increases the wearer’s original speed by 110%. Item kept in Site-016’s Alpha-White anomaly storage compartments.

Designation: L-035
Description: One (1) wooden chair
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a human sits upon L-035, the item will begin to levitate 10 meters off the ground. The item will return to an inert state and slowly return to the ground once the subject sitting on L-035 leaves the still levitating item. This has caused 3 minor injuries. And L-035 is no longer available for Site-016 Holiday parties.

Designation: L-036


"Queasy Green" Color.

Description: Fifteen (15) "Crayola" brand crayons
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When used to color, the last crayon used causes the emotional feeling described on the crayon, such as "Angry Red." When said color is used, all subjects reported an angry emotion. They had no recollection of what they are angry at. This property is the same with all other colors, such as "Feeling Down Blue," "Beaming Yellow," and "Afraid Lavender."

Designation: L-037
Description: Ten (10) lbs of Flan
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject removes a piece from L-037, the item will use a kind of cellular mitosis normally found in Asteroidea to regrow the piece removed. The item is kept in Site-016’s cafeteria. No harmful effects are found when eaten, may cause weight gain if overindulged.

Designation: L-038
Description: Mauser C96 Pistol (Converted into "DL44" Blaster prop from the Star Wars franchise)
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon sight of the prop, all subjects will vocalize the phrase "Han schoot eerst!"1 in perfect Dutch, despite prior knowledge of the Star Wars franchise or the Dutch language.

Designation: L-039
Description: White, Amazing! Co. American Standard Toilet.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon seating on the toilet and defecating on it, individuals express the realization of knowledge they didn't have before, as expressed by some users as "an epiphany". The object was discovered after installing it in one of the restrooms of Site-016 without prior inspection of the item's brand. Toilet stall has been labeled as "L-039", personnel entering it to use it are to be provided a notepad and a pen in case they experience a revelation while using the object as to limit the scrawling on the stall walls.

Designation: L-040
Description: Amazing! Co. brand, RPC Authority patterned gift wrap paper.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Items contained in boxes wrapped with the paper will transform into a varying size lump of coal. The object was recovered from a purchase made by Site-002 for Boxing Day preparations. The paper was tested due to its eye-catching print, revealing all gifts wrapped with it turned into lumps of coal.

Designation: L-041
Description: Black Onyx statuette that has been worn by age, roughly resembles Ishtar of Mesopotamian myth, or the goetic demon Astaroth.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a piece of paper with an appropriate name of an existing person or entity is within 1m of the statuette, the edge of what is possibly a moon or a snake-like object in the right hand of the statuette will strike forward piercing the paper. The paper will then catch flame, and from that point on within one week of this event, the person or entity will appear before the subject and profess their love for them, and then physically hurt the subject in a way most personally painful to them before leaving or disappearing.
Edit: And it would be nice if a certain someone would stop using this to get me to traipse across the base just for a kiss every year!

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