So Vizlox and I wrote an article about a stapler. This draft has gone all over the place, but I think it's a good start, and we hope it builds on Fail Safe's bevy of nuclear monsters in an unusual way.
Good stuff! The thing I most want to know is what happens to RPC-XXXA. Poor thing
an NCCB
Would this be *a NCCB?
It looks like there is an extra space between your first and second paragraph
"Amazing! Co. Kidz-Frendly STAPLOR!tm"
I think you should use ™ unless it it implied that it really was not the proper TM symbol
Not a fan myself that it implies there are human entities working at Amazing Co! to be honest, but it's not lore breaking or anything.
the anomalies of coherency produced by RPC-XXX instances varied widely in volume and intensity when exposed to high-energy photons.
of / the coherency of anomalies
5. Refers to a range of traumatic internal and external injuries caused by sudden movement between areas of higher and lower-coherency space, in which internal organs and tissues become misaligned, detached from or bonded to each other.
Nothing to improve, just want to say how much I love this image and how much more scary it makes the concept of ACS
ISC data recorder registers a spike in radiation, the ceases to function
Missing a word
disjunction burns
I don't think that these effects would be considered burns. Possibly Syndactyly of the ___ (not totally sure on that) or disjunction fusion would fit more
(footnote) 10. Further investigation has shown that RPC-XXX-8 is irrevocably bonded to the larger structure of RPC-XXXA and should be considered
Should be considered what?
I really want to know what happens with RPC-XXXA.
Choo choo, it's a crit train! A Kaiser always pays his debts.
When not in use as part of an onsite onsite or on-site, you switch it later NuCorp Coherency Bonder (NCCB), all instances of RPC-XXX are to be stored in secure lockers.
In the event that an RPC-XXX instance must be transported, personnel should employ a standard White-class Insulated Secure Container equipped with an automatic data logger.
In light of recent events at Site-014, RPC-XXX-01 is believed destroyed, and RPC-XXX-02 is pending reclassification.
RPC-XXX are visually identical to Swingline-brand 747 staplers, but show a noticeably poorer inferior quality of construction and a single-piece upper arm which cannot be opened or reloaded. Nitpick word swap, but it feels a bit better.
Upon recovery, each instance came was found with a paper tag which reading "Amazing! Co. Kidz-Frendly STAPLOR!tm".
Ink, paper, and handwriting analysis of this document has proved have proven inconclusive.
During routine testing of RPC-XXX soon after it was acquired by the Authority, it was discovered that, while stable and, by the standards of Amazing! Co. products, remarkably consistent in its function, the anomalies of coherency produced by RPC-XXX instances varied widely in volume and intensity when exposed to high-energy photons. This sentence isn't bad by any means, but it is definitely a mouthful. Also what is routine testing exactly?
It became apparent that concentrated and controlled bursts of X-ray and gamma radiation could be used to consistently control the anomalous capabilities of RPC-XXX consistently.
NCCBs allows for the rapid assembly of parts into a finished state without the need for welding, solder or adhesives.
Addendum XXX.2: On June 13th, 2019, (nitpick but you switch to a day month date in the event log, you should keep it consistent) an event occurred in which Site-014 was destroyed due to a nuclear blast.
Machine shop staff become aware of the risk posed by RPC-XXX-02's uncontrolled low-coherency field.
Machinist Y██████ is killed by internal coherency damage to his stomach, liver, and kidneys.
Machinist A█████████ succeeds in manually removing RPC-XXX-02 from its NCCB and partially inserting it into its (ISC) before succumbing to severe coherency disjunction injuries to the hands, arms, face, and chest.
The structure of the ISC contains RPC-XXX-02's coherency field, but does not fully adequately protect against radioactive contamination penetrating the container. Nitpick word swap
Data is damaged by subsequent radiation and low-coherency coherence exposure.
It is believed from subsequent investigation of the parking garage that at some point the van hit a structural post hard enough to shatter the passenger-side window. The part about "subsequent investigation" is a little unclear, is it one investigation, if it's singular I think it needs a definite article. I could be wrong on this one.
The ISC's radiation sensors detect increasing levels of airborne radiation.
ISC data recorder registers a spike in radiation, then ceases to function, likely due to a sudden drop in localized coherency.
The 103-km/h impact kills Yaron instantly, and ejects the ISC through the exterior wall of the restaurant with enough force to cause it to partially open, fully exposing the active RPC-XXX-02 to the interior of the structure.
Looking at give or take 120 microsieverts footnote please per hour- do you confirm? This sentence comes off a little unclear, but that could just be me.
Something's fogging the glass, but that was definitely movement.
It's not condensation;, it's a thin layer of something on the inside of the windows.
Holy shit, Command, are you seeing this? Consistent capitalization is important Von!
Subsequent AECT investigations of the area showed localized and shifting pockets of low-coherency coherence space which were too small to produce the usually obvious signs of unstable reality, but still large enough to cause negative effects in the surrounding matter.
Members of MSTs Alpha-3 ("Scavengers"), Delta-7 ("No-Eyes"), Echo-8 ("Plague Doctors"), India-13 ("Squirrel on a Stick") and Uniform-1 ("Through God's Eyes") were assigned to clean-up and containment operations.
Personnel from Delta-7, Uniform-1, and India-13 approached the restaurant on foot, while Alpha-3 and the remainder of the response team secured a working perimeter and assisted with civilian evacuation efforts.
We'll handle the clean-up from here.
I don't know if we're going to get anything coherent out of it, unless we can somehow decode that mess of a computer.
I don't have anything else other than that. What a crazy ride! I can't wait to see this bad boy on the main-list.