A guy on Discord is making a Crusader GOI and decided to reopen this can of worms to make an article for it.
Right now your article is a one-trick pony, which is not a bad thing but its too long for that. You have now two ways to approach this
1. make it so it fits the "lesser anomalous items" category http://www.rpc-wiki.net/catalog-of-lesser-anomalous-items
2. expand the concept further, for example, I believe you are better off by relying more on catholic symbolism making the sword an animated or semi-animated anomaly (kinda like the admission hat from harry potter) and get more creative with the concept by for example making the sword possesses its user to attain a certain end goal (for example, retake the Jerusalem), or detach the sword entirely from the crusades and use other forms of catholic symbolism (like for example the sword identifying victims for committing any of the 7 deadly sins and imparting judgment accordingly)
It's the same article as before, with all the same massive flaws, with just a new addendum
2nd time I've ever agreed with Tog
Alright lad thanks a lot for the constructive criticism.
Ok, so I’m the guy making the GoI.
For some criticism…well, in my opinion there’s a lot you can add:
- Interview logs with the -1 instances.
- Maybe some old letters dating to the second crusade that talk about this weapon
- maybe add a character I created but never used, Agent Cross, he was a crusader once, so it would add some content; all characters i create are free to be used.
- Maybe you could add a recovered Order Of The Cross “file” on the sword, and since there is no format for that, you have operational freedom.
The problem with this RPC is that it has a lot to tell but doesn’t; Hope my suggestions help you do it.
Marco Marchi B. Mark
Don't do that. Don't ask someone to use one of your characters.
Most of the rest you made is good for flavor text, but those can be added when the core structure of the rpc itself is completed.