A draft about cannibalism
An on-site station is staffed by personnel tasked with monitoring various infra-red cameras, CCTV cameras, and motion sensors positioned around the exterior of RPC-X, comprising a perimeter with components located at all exits and sealed vents, including the defunct sewers connected to the site.
Run on sentence. Editing suggestion:
An on-site station is staffed by personnel tasked with monitoring various infra-red cameras, CCTV cameras, and motion sensors positioned around the exterior of RPC-X. They are to secure a perimeter with security features located at all exits and sealed vents, including the defunct sewers connected to the site.
including dissection tables
Don't know if they are called that in a meat packing plant. Perhaps meat handling tables? Im not sure, but I'm pretty sure that dissection is more of a scientific/medical thing while packing plants are doing butchery, which is its own thing. If that makes any sense… It may pay off to research and see if theres a more proper term for these tables.
Rapid decrease of movement and mental function due to prions (similar to Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.)
Due to prionic infection (alternativley) due to infection via prions
Overall Impression: Dude, this is positivley chilling. Especially the case reports of the people effected by this thing. Honestly man, give this to a few people for a proof-read or two and this could stand up on its own as-is. I am very excited to see this get posted, please DM me when you do so I can swing by to rate it.
Ze Crit
General Advice:
1- All of your images are broken.
2- You don't have hazards or object class.
3- You do not put footnotes on collapsibles.
4- The general consensus is to censor the number of global directors.
Containment Protocols:
" Entrances connected to the 5th sub-basement level are sealed" are to be sealed*
"specially constructed blast-resistant sprinklers will dispense a constant and controlled flow of liquid dicyanoacetylene" sprinklers are to dispense a constant*
"nitrogen gas will flood the interior areas through" is to flood*
"An on-site station is staffed by personnel " is to be staffed*
A pretty nice containment, you have good grammar but tell things in a present, and that can be an issue
Description:
"Despite the main factory being disconnected from Clarksville water distribution system" Despite the main factory being disconnected from Clarksville's water distribution system*
"Reinitialize Live Experimentation To Examine Long-Term Apotheosis." ummmm, context?
Damn nigga, that was some good shit, I really liked it
I wasn't able to find a damn thing wrong with it, truly amazing. A 6/5 my man, Just need to fix some stuff and it would be up to post.
RPC-X-1 instances are to be quarantined in standard humanoid containment cells at Site-99 Site-099.
Experimentation is suspended indefinitely.
Subjects invariably assume their role as one of many workers on an assembly line (stunner, butcher, packer…) Instead of an ellipses, I suggest using a comma and then an "etc.".
The fingers themselves were left gnarled and bruised due to the subject's agitation at his its impaired memory. Remember when referring to an RPC that you should use it/its pronouns. They/them when referring to multiple entities or objects. You can feel free to use he/him in the researcher's notes, though.
Lacination holes, I think you meant "laceration" instead of "lacination". which were marked with the serrated edges of hooks, were present through left-and-right shoulder musculature and clavicles.
Object Description: Reformation after the Great Fire of 1878 had claimed 15 acres of Clarksville's downtown district had been difficult. Not due to the fire itself, but the aftermath itself. Two problems occurred that baffled our esteemed colleagues to no end: the casualties from Is this paragraph supposed to suddenly break off, or is this a mistake?
That was a great article, and I'd give it 5 stars. You took the whole "the food is people :0" trope and ramped it up to 11, making it wonderfully written instead of cliché. The body horror and general tone of the article was fantastically creepy, and the archived document was very unnerving. Great work.
blabbo
i'd like to note, currently Site-099 is on the moon and doesn't have humanoid containment cells
Will change to Site-108. Thank you for alerting me Moist.