RPC-392, otherwise known as ‘Yanov, Vasily’, is a Caucasian male of average height and build.
Reword to: "RPC-392, otherwise known as Dr. Vasily Yanov"
Also, specify height and build. It isn't clinical to be vague.
suggesting that he retained some amount of awareness during the transformation.
Since its still being viewed as an RPC in this context, no pronouns should be used. Replace "he" with "it". Also applies to his/him. Look throughout the article and make sure you make that change.
afflictions- both
Replace replace the hyphen with a comma. This happens several times throughout the article, make sure you do the same in those places too.
must be remain over RPC-392's head at all times
Fix grammar.
RPC-392 is to be secured to the enclosed bed
Replace 'to' with 'an'
This article
In canon, these are not referred to as articles, they are files. Replace 'This article' with 'RPC-329's file'.
(currently)
Remove the brackets.
392's
Always state the anomaly with its full Registered Phenomena Code. Replace '392's' with 'RPC-392's'.
Additionally, RPC-392 does not have eyes.
Let's reword this to: "Additionally, RPC-392 lacks any ocular vision due to the absence of eyeballs."
RPC-392's ocular cavities are completely empty and appear to be anomalous in nature, with no discernible physical interior backing of bone or tissue.
Remove this part.
No light that enters beyond the typical corneal surface (relative to intact human proportions) is reflected.
Reword to: "It is also noted that RPC-329's ocular cavities present anomalous traits, as no light that enters beyond the typical corneal surface (relative to intact human proportions) is reflected."
Anomalous Properties:
Show, don't tell. Remove this bit.
Onset of these symptoms can be caused by visual or auditory contact as well as bare proximity to an aware RPC-392 itself.
Unsure of what you're trying to say here. Reword it towards the end for coherency.
Further,
Replace with 'Furthermore,'.
Interview 392-1
I would suggest reformatting the entire interview. Go and read RPC-237's interview and use that as an example for formatting.
[D.B.]: “Very well. The purpose of this interview is to ascertain how much, if any, of Dr. Yanov’s cognizance remains.
To begin… What is your name?”
Format mistake. Bring the "To begin… What is your name?"" back up to the line.
(releases a sudden elated yet pained exhalation)
Make this an action rather than inserting it mid-quote.
Object
Remove this word.
Suggested amendments to 392’s Hazards Card==Sensory, Mind Control.==Approved.
I assume this is a formatting error. Give it another look and fix it up.