Ok, let's start by the symbol: it should be either orange or red, instead of yellow. Since the anomaly is clearly predatorial.
Now with the containment protocols: you don't explain whether or not the cow should be dead or not before giving it to the creature. Also, why should it be a cow? I think replacing that for "90 kilograms (kg) of deceased matter" would be better.
Now with the description: the main issue I see here is a lack of professional tone, for example, I would rewrite the 1rst paragraph like this:
"RPC-XXX is an animate creature that superficially is resembles an Elephant Bird egg with large green feminine lips, brown humanoid eyes, and eight (8), one (1) meter long tendrils; four (4) on each side. Upon closer inspection, it is clear that the lips aren’t functional and the tendrils consist of human arm muscles and tendons, tightly coiled around themselves extremely tightly. RPC-XXX is docile and unresponsive, even to direct physical attacks. If enough damage is done then it will seemingly die feign death, but once the corpse it loses all eye contact RPC-XXX will become animate again with no past injuries."
The second and third paragraphs have the same lack of proper tone. This is something you can fix by using websites like https://www.polishmywriting.com/ https://www.onlinecorrection.com/ and https://virtualwritingtutor.com/
Now with the exploration log: I see no main issues with it and it is definitively the strongest part of the article. If anything you should amp up the disgust factor methinks.
This article is overall short and to the point, this is very good however it is missing a recovery and/or discovery log. if I were to rate in its current state I would give it a 2/5
of deceased organic matter every 7 days.
… As opposed to live specimens?
A few suggestions about clinical tone and further description;
RPC-XXX is an animate creature that superficially resembles an Elephant Bird egg1 with green feminine lips, brown humanoid eyes, and eight, one long meter tendrils; four on each side. Upon closer inspection it is clear that the lips aren’t functional and the tendrils consist of human arm muscles and tendons, tightly coiled around themselves. RPC-XXX is docile and unresponsive even to attacks. If enough damage is done then it will seemingly die but once it loses all eye contact RPC-XXX will become animate again with no past injuries.
"RPC-XXX is an animate creature, superficially resembling an avian egg, particularly that of Aepyornis maximus, or elephant bird. RPC-XXX has green human-like lips,1 brown irises, and eight, one-meter long tendrils extending from its upper side, separated in an octaradial manner. These tendrils are composed of tightly coiled muscles and tendons, indifferent from those present in human arms."
"Upon closer inspection, RPC-XXX's mouth is evidently nonfunctional."
"RPC-XXX is docile and unresponsive, even when directly assaulted. When attacked, RPC-XXX will appear to 'die', feigning fatal injuries and changing in coloration to a dark hue of gray. However, when direct eye contact breaks while in this state, RPC-XXX will return to its baseline state."
Remember that clinical tone follows two principles; saying as much as possible in as little space as possible, and making things understandable for everyone that could be reading them. I'll leave the rest of the article for you to correct, but you can always ask me for help.
The rest of the article needs grammar and spacing really badly. I'll leave it up to you to do it again, but ask me if you need me to do it.
Overall, this is a decent idea/execution. It feels more or less unique and entertaining to read, but isn't quite revolutionary or amazing. 3/5 with proper grammar.
Hazard Types: Aggression Hazard, Extra-Dimensional Hazard, Corrosive Hazard, Contact Hazard, Auditory Hazard, Organic Hazard, Sentient Hazard
Not really an issue but could you consider using that fancy schmancy hazard types CSS thingy viz made? Looks pretty cool. Just personal opinion and its not really anything that needs fixing but I thought I'd shoot it out there anyway.
empty humanoid containment chamber
I feel the empty part would go without saying.
70kg of deceased organic matter
Why is it important to specify "deceased"? Would plant-based organic matter work as well, as long as its dead?
In addition your containment protocols could stand to be longer. I understand its important to avoid bloat and unnecessary details after I just got after you for them, but they feel so brief that it gives the impression they're present in a more obligatory fashion than to actually aid the article in any way.
green feminine lips
Describing something's lips as "feminine" doesn't seem like something a scientific professional would do.
Upon closer inspection it is clear that the lips aren’t functional and the tendrils consist of human arm muscles and tendons, tightly coiled around themselves
This starts to feel like a run-on sentence, would be best to split the description of the lips and the arms. You could also consider replacing the "feminine" in "green feminine lips" with "nonfunctional", and omit the first part of this sentence entirely.
If enough damage is done then it will seemingly die but once it loses all eye contact RPC-XXX will become animate again with no past injuries.
I assume you mean once eye contact is lost with it. The way you've phrased this implies its the anomaly's eye contact they must be broken, not that of those observing it.
When eye contact, undisturbed by any material is made from at most 6 meters away with RPC-XXX;
I had to read that 3 times before I understood what you were saying. Perhaps specify the scenario and then the additional requirements after? Like: "When direct eye contact is made with RPC-XXX, within a range of 6 meters and with no obstruction;"
If the subject succeeds, the cube dematerializes and both the subject and RPC-XXX are left in the same state and position they made eye contact with, with none of the injuries or changes made during the encounter and will not attack the subject for the next 24 hours.
Separate the part about the changes and injuries being removed and the grace period into separate sentences. Like: "If the subject succeeds, the cube dematerializes. Both the subject and RPC-XXX are left in the same state and position they made eye contact, and all injuries or alterations created during the encounter are removed. RPC-XXX will not attack the subject for the next 24 hours."
Also, consider naming the "subject" RPC-XXX-1 or some equivalent.
If not fed for at least 7 days RPC-XXX will conservatively release the liquid in its egg in a gaseous form, making every living thing in a 30 meter radius to experience LSD like effects no matter the obstructions.
You might want to space this out, to go more in-depth on the fact that this gas can apparently phase through walls. Also, do not say "LSD like", the term is "hallucinogenic".
I'd recommend redoing the log entirely. It doesn't seem like an observation log, more like an attempt at making a third person perspective story fit within an observation log format.
The amount of rewriting and editing necessary to fix it would be so extensive you may as well simply rewrite it, but as a proper observational log by a scientist observing a CSD.
Here's a few example of issues anyway, just so you know what to avoid if you do rewrite it:
The flesh materializes around the both of them, entrapping them. RPC-XXX emits the loud ringing noise and begins chase CSD-9473 causing him to turn around and run.
You should describe these events as though this is the first time they're happening. Rather than "the ringing noise", put "a ringing noise".
He looks back and sees RPC-9473 seeping into the floor before he begins to look forward again.
Don't describe events from his perspective, describe them from the camera's. Something like "CSD-9473 momentarily turns back and RPC-XXX can briefly be seen seeping into the floor."
CSD-9473 thanks God and sits down to take a rest.
Why isn't this shown as dialogue?
CSD-9473 after cursing God for creating his ears
You are ESL so maybe cursing god for giving you ears is a common thing in your native tongue, but in english it would be very strange to say aloud. Perhaps not to think, but remember this is a log of a camera feed, the RPC authority has no idea what CSD-9473 is thinking at this moment.
At this point his soles begin to deteriorate before the walls begin to spit acid towards him. He covers his head with both arms and continues to rush forward. His left arm is burned by some acid and he yells in pain, yelling various expletives.
Speaking of the fact that this is a camera feed, how are they getting such a detailed view of his physical state? Again, this reads much more like a third person narrative than an observational log based on a body cam.
Closing Statement: 2 days after this exploration log CSD-9473 was involved in a failed experiment with RPC-████, causing him to die via suffocation.
Is this relevant?
an animate creature
For sake of clinical tone, I would replace creature with entity
particularly that of Aepyornis maximus,
Add a the after of
The egg contains a vicious green and black unidentifiable liquid, that causes hallucinogenic effects when ingested or touched.
Why is this important information restricted to a footnote?
Speaking of which, the containment protocols make no mention of how the anomaly should be handled. Why not mention the way it has to be fed if nobody can make eye contact with it?
He looks back and RPC-9473 is seen seeping into the floor before he begins to look forward again.
Bro… RPC-9473… future… change this to XXX
He is met with large hallway
a large hallway
but isn’t quick move
quick to move
after being extremely quiet during the whole ordeal is suddenly extremely loud, louder then it was during the start of the event
Few issues here. First, "whole ordeal" does not feel clinical. Change it around to something like "which was previously at a lower volume". Next change "suddenly extremely loud" to "rapidly increases in volume at a louder volume than earlier."
CSD-9473 after cursing God
This lines cringeworthy. I think it would be better if it just said CSD-9473 swore repeatedly.
An interview was meant to be conducted 7 days after the exploration log but 2 days later CSD-9473 was involved in a failed experiment with RPC-████, causing him to die via suffocation.
Irrelevant.
The best way I could describe this would be disappointing and lazy. You have a set up for a really good edge of your seat anxiety fest with the hallucinations and a massive shifting maze like the movie CUBE, and you do none of that. Instead you just make a generic "guy in scary maze" exploration log that bored me more than scared me. I think if you rewrote the exploration log to include more of the hallucination aspect, then you would have an article that was far more interesting then what you have now. The extensive amount of grammatical and tonal errors make this a difficult read as well. 2/5 in its current state
Aepyornis maximus
//Aepyornis maximus// => Aepyornis maximus
while in this state
while it is in this state
every living thing in a 30 meter radius
30-meter
The flesh materializes around the both of them
around both of them
CSD-9473 thanks God
CSD-9473 expressed relief
He is a bit unsettled by the area
He is a bit unsettled by the area
one of the arms quickly grab
grabbed
After traversing the labyrinth for 12 minutes the ringing noise
under(?) the ringing noise
tunnel like hallway
tunnel-like
With walls similar to stomach lining
stomach linings
He sprints across the teeth lined floor
teeth-lined
(Do specify how sharp the teeth were)
(talk about the CSD in the aftermath in a note at the end of the log)
The rpc right now is merely a monster article, in addition to expanding on it, I think you could explore CSD-9473 after his entry in the maze.
What I'm gathering from this is that the RPC is a weird egg-shaped creature who zaps you away to this maze dimension of you look at it. It's pretty much a mix of SCPs 173 and 106, but a Chinese knockoff. I'm only re-stating this because the tone and structure of the article is so jumbled and lackluster that I really couldn't focus on the paragraphs without having to look away for a few seconds. The writing is sloppy, and with it comes an inevitable confusion that ultimately drives the reader away from the article. In combination with this, as others have said, being just another monster article, the concept is too weird as to not have any backstory. Things like 106 work without no story because the concepts and themes displayed by the creature itself are fluid, they fit together like puzzle pieces. It leaves enough up to the imagination in the right ways. Here, I'm just left in the dust.
As I've said, the clinical and sentence structure is bad. Not only are the paragraphs just too long in the logs, which, due to Wikidot's shittiness, makes it hard to read due to how close each line is, but the way in which the anomaly is described it unprofessional. It breaks my immersion.
If this article were posted to the site as-is, it would be a +1. Boring, confusing, and ultimately bearing no substance or enjoyment whatsoever. However, I believe that if you do enough tweaking and thinking— playing with the concept enough— this article could shape up to be something great. The anomaly is just weird enough to benefit from a great backstory. For example: why was it in Baluchestan? How did it get there? What happened to the people in the house? It has potential for some serious Paranormal Activity/VHS 2-esque shit, but right now it's a mess.
~Baubi
when you mention the entity and the egg, you never explained where the entity comes from. Does it reside IN the egg? Does it materialise when the egg is seen? is it a part of the egg? It just really needs to explain how it looks like an egg and a monster at the same time, there's some confusion there.
For the exploration log, it'd be good to have an afterword of sorts explaining if the CSD has any sorts of markings from their time in the flesh maze.
It says in the incident log that it produces a hallucination gas, but it never explains how the facility was ruined due to this. Was it rampaging RPCs? Facility staff going on a rampage?
"But he is started by something on his right"
you mean Startled?
For this one, you cold expand more on the other entities found in the basement, perhaps look into the "oven", maybe its a deterrent for the RPC or it has some sorta reaction? I think it'd help if you look into those things and their interactions with the RPC