Grammar:
In efficient, mechanical motion
In an efficient
a cigarette is prepared on his mouth and ignited, after two failed attempts.
remove the comma
King could really say that he was in the same place than the men he commanded
King could really say that he was in the same place as the men he commanded
a few hundred self-conscious cannon fodder
fodders
thrown to sea
thrown into the sea
With such a daybreak
I'm not sure if "daybreak" is the word you're looking for, if you're referring to the passage of time the sentence should be something like "As they reaches daybreak"
were bothered in the afair
affair
neither sleepy or lacking in coffee
nor
Research personnel
The Research personnel
an impossibly powerful windforce
wind force
the results pages
the pages of results
often ordering more tests not to give the impression Research wasn't trying
so as to not give the impression that Research wasn't trying
AEF sailors
ASF
perimeter duty
duties
Research agents throwing pretty literally anything at an anomaly
(I suggest changing "agents" to something else)
pretty much literally / prettly literally
allow to figure
allow them to figure
to deploy to the island
be deployed
on the process of destabilizing
in
with all the extra unpredictability that this implied over already nigh-incomprehensible nightmare fields
nightmarish field (if you're refering to the field surrounding Pabbay)
the answer was yes
"yes" (as you did with "no")
Story:
First off,
Protection called a team of special Power Rangers
"Power Rangers" are presumably a reference to MSTs and not ASFs which as you put it, is mere cannon fodders, it isn't exactly fair to call them "Power Rangers" since they aren't really augmented or particularly superior to standard humans.
To begin with, King was simply not used to having to deal with actual problems himself, as most anomalies were for MSTs to worry about.
You've previously said that situations where MSTs are involved are dangerous anomalies such as LSHs, that would mean ASFs should have quite a lot of experience handling some anomalies, it would also be incompetent of the Authority to send in personnel with no experience with anomalies to handle such.
Scottland HQ
Why wouldn't Operation Center be set up in or adjacent to Site-007 which Is the largest Site in Scottland after all.
"Make sure to move civvie ships too."
As much as I understand the hate for AOIs, since this is about the sttucture of initial recovery of anomalies, where is the British government in all of this, shouldn't they be immediately contacted to help secure the perimeter given the fact that the Authority already know there is something big going down in the island?
Locally-bought. Hand-made.
Locally-bought.
I have a hard time believing that Administration would be able to trace its origins, and would prefer if one of them was just a boat they got from Containment.
This also brings into question of how does an object constitute being "hand-made": All objects are artificially made by us, so at first it may be reasonable to assume that those objects that aren't able to pass are created from factories or automations. But boat creation are (to my understanding) not such things. So does "hand-made" mean any objects that doesn't involve tools to create? That too sounds implausible. Overall, its just confusing and needs major clarifications.
As I read further down, it felt as if you went overboard with the whole "wooden equipment" idea, certain types of metal is still allowed in. And hand-crafted items are clearly not the only requirements for items to be brought, as "medievel" equipment were also able to pass as they did with their Auctoritas-era armors
The designs were then passed to Containment, and to Engineering
ProLab should also be involved as they Von's tale did mention their major contribution to the development of equipments
Overall, it did good in establishing Authority response to anomalies and big events. Though it still needed some polishing.
