Grammar:
a small lead-glass box measuring 57x57cm.
"57x57cm" isn't strictly necessary here, however, if you insist on including the measurement then you should fill in all 3 dimenisons (57x57x57cm), alternatively, you could just use 57^^3^^cm^^3^^ (573cm3) to represent it if all 3 of the dimenisons of the box are the same.
no personnel under level 3
level 3 clearance
on site
on-site
whomever is wearing RPC-709
whoever
RPC-709’s containment chamber must be a 3x3 meter room with standard containment steel plating walls and a standard containment door unlocked via a keycard in the .
The same problem from previous point applies here, and since the specifications of the containment chamber are all standard, once again, you don't have to mention it, or you could reduce them to mere footnotes which you can do with this: [[footnote]] Text [[/footnote]]
Additionally, the sentence isn't finished.
under supervision of at least 2
the supervision
Should a test include any personnel wearing RPC-709, it should be removed within 5 minutes to reduce the chance of a breach.
Should a test involve any personnel wearing RPC-709, it should be removed within 5 minutes to reduce the chance of causing a containment breach.
that wouldn't cause the host to become deceased.
that would usually result in non-fatal injuries under non-anomalous circumstances.
caucasian male
Caucasian male
lodged into his chest
███ ████████ was declared deceased shortly after RPC-709 was removed.
███ ████████ expired shortly after the removal of RPC-709
Story:
Dr Felix Kahn or Dr. John Wilmer
Who are these 2 personnel in-relation to the anomaly? Are they the lead researcher, are they the director of Site-297? You can simply replace them with their job title (E.G. Under the orders of Site Director…) and put their names in the footnote to specify that they currently hold that title.
Further more your containment is rather lacking
If RPC-709 is moved, no personnel under level 3 are permitted to enter RPC-709’s containment chamber.
This statement is unclear is it referring to a unauthorized removal of RPC-907 or the simple relocation of the anomaly? And why shouldn't the room be enter under the circumstances, you talked about the mask secreting paint, maybe you could use that as a reason? If so you could also include that the room needs to be cleaned if it is no longer in used by RPC-709
5 minutes to reduce the chance of a breach.
This again is unexplained. Why 5 minutes? Does that mean the mask could potentially affect the wearer mentally which caused them to do unthinkable things? The discovery seems to suggest so, which could be expanded on if you write in some test log. Also, the mask is only going to give increase durability to the wearer, it doesn't enhance their basic human strength, how exactly would the wearer be capable of breaching if you just lock them inside the test chamber, and later retrive the mask after incapacitating the wearer with gas.
The mask also states that it turns/replaces the wearer's blood with paint, does that mean they'll die immediately upon the removal of the mask? Or do their bloodstream simply returns to normal after removal of 709? Having paint in everyone of your organ could be really detrimental to the human, maybe that killed the Australian in the discovery instead of the tree branch?
During the relocation of RPC-709, there are to be at least 2 armed guards and one researcher with extensive knowledge of the effects of RPC-709 in case of any unexpected events.
ASF is a rather versatile force in the Authority, from what I've read, it doesn't really warrent there to be an additional researcher to provide information that couldn't be told to the guards via memos and documentation. Guards are supposed to have a basic understanding of the anomaly they guarding, and from the article, they should be able to handle a containment breach as long as they are told of the 709's invincibility.
I've outlined many ways in which you can expand your article. But as the concept currently stands it's pretty bland and uninteresting. Maybe connect it to one of the GOIs like Amazing Co. or write a test log, both of which could explain the anomaly's backstory and certainly expand on the article than it currently is.