Monetary compensation has been allowed by the Administration Division
This doesn't really make sense in lore. Why would the authority give monetary compensation for finding some documents about an anomaly that admittedly isn't very important. Even if it was important I doubt they would get money for it
The reason for this is warning is
Remove the first "is"
The senior survivor of the fire
I think of an old man who survived the fire. Perhaps you meant to say "A senior researcher who survived the fire"
When the light is on was when it burns people
This is one of those sentences that sound odd when you pronounce them. Perhaps you could change it to say "Whenever the light turned on, it would burn people"
So this is a neat little idea. I like how it is intentionally left vague enough to the point where you can guess what goes wrong, but I dislike how obvious it is towards the end. What I think would be a neat little twist would be if what the catastrophe that it hints at gets twisted towards the end. Keeps a similar idea of the event, but it isn't what you expect. 3/5 in its current state mainly for a well written interview and neat little mystery but points deducted for a predictable ending
Thanks for the feedback! I've made a few changes that I think you'll like. The monetary compensation bit has been removed, those sentences reworded a bit, and I've expanded on the possibilities regarding what other stuff it does. Nothing too certain was added, but just enough to get you to think about it.
OL-Site-014
OL-Site-XXX
it is to be contained at OL-Site-014 and is to be kept behind a medium security electronic lock with a 6 number pass-code.
it's enterance is locked behind a medium security lock door at OL-Site-014.
Nearly all of the documents pertaining to RPC-XXX were located in the facility, and numerous high level staff lost their lives in the fire.
Nearly all related documents and staffs pertaining to RPC-XXX were lost as a result of the fire
It is known that RPC-XXX can be destroyed and can be damaged
It is known that RPC-XXX can be destroyed or damaged
Facuility-013
Facility-013
the lecture did it's job
its
one of the Scientists
scientists
Everything you can remember helps
Everything you can remember help / Everything you remember helps
Derrick flip flopped
flip-flopped
following it's construction
its
This article is just not good, you repeatedly talks about how little people knows and how while that's the point to it it just leaves the article really hollow.
You really should have played up the contradictories of the anomaly, where people gave different description of the object (candle and lightbulb), things like there never been a bolt door and now there is (you shouldn't have explained that one)
The interview with Elliot is just him telling hearsays, and yes, that's the point, everyone who knows remotely anything died, but you established that he has enough knowledge of the Firebox that invalidated that notion of lack of knowledge.