blood penance must be paid
This is my dream journal.
a strange form of introduction
I don’t know if I know how to write, either.
how can they read without knowing how to write, writing is just copying other written stuff
They gave me toys last week. I have a purple dinosaur. They told me it was a dinosaur because of its name. Coelophysis. It was a terrible lizard.
weird to just say the Latin name like that
They called themselves Rachel. She was nice.
pronoun shift
They are cold too (I think).
recommend: change to "I think they are cold too." or something without parenthesis to keep the weird mental pseudo-journal theme intact
I hope you know that.
who are they talking to if this is in their head or something similar to in their head
Escape.
Yeah, it’s an escape.
the "yeah, it's an escape" comes off weird from how this person 'talks' previously
I’m in a pub.
again, pub is an odd word choice. maybe 'bar' or 'restaurant' would be better
We’re epic!
nitpicking but: the choice of the word epic made me chuckle a bit, solely because of how people online use it sarcastically
:-(
I thought this was in their head or something
Resurrection time!
again this comes off as more humorous than I think you intended
Be right back, praying.
this is written like they're saying this as it's happening, but previous word choices do not suggest this
this was very effective at pulling off that "story told from unreliable narrator in an unsettling fashion" theme that KK tales tend to have, but I couldn't really tell what you were going for in its presentation
good nonetheless, would rate 5 if changes are made