Here's my draft:
[Picture of an engraved teracotta bowl goes here]
Item #: RPC-XXXX
Object Class: Alpha
Containment Protocols: RPC-XXXX is to be stored in a standard containment locker. Nothing edible is to be placed in RPC-XXXX outside of testing. Any personnel who do eat or drink out of RPC-XXXX are to be rushed to the medical bay for emergency surgery.
Description: RPC-XXXX is an encraved terracotta bowl recovered from the city of Uruk.1 RPC-XXXX is believed to have been constructed from 3800-3400 BC. Chemical analysis of the interior of RPC-XXXX has detected traces of minerals not naturally present in the Middle East, or on the Earth.
If a human being consumes food placed inside RPC-XXXX, then their stomach and digestive system will slowly become entangled and the production of gastric acid will stop. The process is extremely painful, and prevents the normal digestion of food. Any food located in the digestive track will start to naturally decompose; the ensuing swelling will severely damage other organ systems. Without emergency surgery, the swelling will lead to death.
If a human being consumes liquid from RPC-XXXX, then the production of saliva will cease. The affected individual will suffer from extreme thirst, and will be compelled to drink large amounts of liquid to compensate for the lack of saliva. Unless a saline drip is introduced, the excessive intake of liquid will lead to electrolyte imbalance in the brain and death.2 Even with a saline drip, the affected individual will have difficulty eating solid food and will suffer from extensive tooth decay due to the lack of saliva.
Addendum: RPC-XXXX is engraved in a previously unknown variant of Aramaic, a language that did not emerge until the 10th century BC. Translation of the engraving is ongoing. A partial translation is included below:
In the seventh year of the reign of Mesh-tarah, men came to travel in…presented with gifts. Carts of pottery that bestows great beauty and wisdom…Left on horseback… palace came under illness that no healer in the…unmatched in any land.