RPC Authority

Wtf? Self-Insert? Harold 2?

1 Starrrr

Jk looks good

Initial impression: You fixed it up for mobile, good job!

Mobile Specialized Team Lima-5 has been disbanded as per orders of the Directorate.

Nothing wrong here, but stylistically I tend to prefer MST be abbrieviated. Your choice on it though honestly.

metals from Christopher Columbus's compass, used in his maiden voyage to the Americas in the late 1490s.

I would add something like "It has not been determined why this matierial choice has resulted in anomalous properties."

However, this fluid alters in every occurrences when an RPC-984-2 instance expires.

occurence

seconds that causes their tissue and skin to pare, including their biological structure.

this causes

as far as that word pare, not sure what you are trying to convey, tear? pair? pale? confused.

Within a 2-5 second period, the biological structure and anatomy of the subject develop into dust particles,

disentigrates into dust particles,

Their clothes and skeleton mass remain intact while RPC-984 remains clutched within their hands.

skeletal mass

so, my overall impression is that its a very intriguing piece, but it kind of meanders all over the place. I would try to trim it down a bit, and really try to focus on what you are trying to convey. The pieces gargantuan nature and tendency to just throw a ton of info at you about multiple effects and events at once leaves me a little bit confused once I'm done reading.

Additionally, police for grammar. I suck at grammar proofreading but tried to nab as many as I could.

Thanks for the crit, I finally have time to edit, and seeing the current rating it looks a bit needed.
Rereading this after a long time of not seeing it I can totally understand some of the criticisms that I previously wasn't sure what to do with or disagreed with.

Current edit is this:
Removing the second incident report, this seems to be thing most people have a problem with.

Expanding on the Alpha and Omega test while still having heavy censorship present to imply a catastrophic failure.

Containment protocol edited to read as:
Instances of RPC-XXXX are to be stored at Site-16. All collected instances of RPC-XXX are stored in secure containment units measuring 1mx1mx1m when not in use or transport. During transport, instances of RPC-XXXX are kept in small vaults that are attached to the frame of the vehicle used for transport. All instances, excluding RPC-XXXX-6, and -10 are able to be delivered to other Authority facilities for the purpose of experimentation and/or analysis, a security clearance level of 3 or higher is needed to requisition instances of RPC-XXXX. Small samples of variants RPC-XXXX-1, RPC-XXXX-4, and RPC-XXXX-8 are also kept in vaults at RPC installations at the armory for use in case of a breach, these instances may be used only if permitted by the Site Admin.- Orders via the customer service line are made every 12 months by Researcher Mann. Official requisition forms are collected at the end of March and should be sent 3-5 business days in advance.

Addendum edited to read as:
As of 2005 all instances of RPC-XXX now come with an additional marketing slogan reading “Also Try Our New Line Of Synthetic Automobile Oils!”. The implications regarding this slogan have lead to two searches and one attempt at procurement via purchasing, all of which were unsuccessful.

Last experiment that is completely redacted removed.

Gold standard experiment shortened to 1 row

Anything else that you think I should consider?

http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/ball Tale based on RPC-207 and Cetace's Kin, with a few other Cetace's Kin RPCs being involved. My first attempt at writing a tale. It is on the second tab in the tales section which is after the RPCs

as i am going to say it on the discord, ill put it here:
- the button to make the progress to the next page is understandable since it is standard with your paperwork-y articles, but in my opinion i should be only used on articles that like gamma-black. take this however you like since im just an idiot who doesn't know how to crit.
-the fucking theta classification, i don't care about viz stupid designation, theta it is and will be the designated class for this type of objects
- everything else is well made and wonderfully paperworky, with almost none grammatical errors or misspellings, so good on that
- the explanation it was solid and very straightfoward why the containment was implemented in the first place

overall a +5 article as always pierson

Haha

I really like this one. It's a well executed interesting idea.

http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/progression-page-i

Special thanks to various people at the Discord for the brainstorming and suggestions.

I enjoyed this piece. I think it gives a good bite of foundation for the monks and their previous interactions. Most of my crit is grammar.

PoI-000: Ah. (Pauses) I know I got it off the internet, but I… I can't remember where. I mean, why would I need to remember something when I'm only using it once?

Couldn't agents just retrieve his computer and fish up the internet history to find the website? There's ways to retrieve data even if it's been deleted.

A fairly short article.

So these termite demons are now making a termite mound and bringing more of their own kind in?

Pardon me for taking a leaf out of Blue Book's page, but why not just drop a bunker buster over the whole thing and call it a day? In fact, I'd honestly have rather if the agents got a bit more proactive and shot up/disrupted the ritual before it was finished.

It seems like a legit threat that's outright visible - I mean, people are going to notice the quake, and then what are the news media going to say when they see a new mini-mountain's popped out of the ground overnight? This isn't something that can be solved by spinning away tall tales in the news media. Also if they're going full hive they'd have to do a shit ton of deforestation, right? That'd also be pretty noticeable.

Honestly the ending feels a bit of a forced cliffhanger, in the form of this big incoming doom/threat that is at the mercy of the author's mood to update for it to come (I should know, I'm also guilty of this).

And they don't know that one of their own got killed? Or they know and have no feelings towards it?

Overall it somehow doesn't exactly feel complete, no offense.

Also, is there a particular kind of IRL Indonesian folklore/demonology that these termite-headed demons are tied to, or are they a creation of yours?

This is a good idea, I’ll try to add some testing logs or something. Thanks!

WHY ThE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUCK IS THERE ONE TABS!!!!!

Special Thanks to Peanutmanington and _J a c o b_ for giving me crit several months ago, as well as to Qual and SSplinter for helping me get the final touches done before uploading.

Sorry for leaving you hanging Croal. It's about 2 people waiting forever for a man that will never come. It was made by Samual Beckett, and while many hated it on its premiere, the lower class and prisoners loved it. I recommend you watch it, there is a recording of the play on Youtube.

Another book I recommend, which I only read recently is Heart of Darkness. Post-reading it, I saw a lot of themes I followed with Heart of Darkness accidentally.

Then burn it like the rest.

Huh, that was weird. Well if that's your goal you definitely did it well. But I think that for this article, if you're gonna do that, you need to go full force and keep going in the weird direction you're going. For example, make the termites have weird twitching and retching and maybe some vomiting just to make em a bit weirder and grosser. The visual image I had in my head of this was this commercial which is just as off putting and weirdly cringey as this was. Not cringe in the sense of it sucking, but cringe in the sense you get when you see something weird or gross. The one you'd feel in the back of your neck. If you can recreate that feel in this article with these weirdo termites, you got a firm 5 star article on your hands.

Well my problem with this is that it is rather slow moving. Sure it's a neat concept but the gimmick drags on a bit too long at times especially with massive paragraphs that just reinforce concepts we already know. Now I do like the ending, it is rather gloomy but it follows a slow moving a storyline so it feels outta place in a way. I think this concept could benefit more from the weird things you can do with it rather than a full fledged story. From what I can tell, it's more an intelligence sucker that sucks up all the knowledge of something, so see what you could do, like put a duck in front of it or something. Just my thoughts.

Ew what if its pineapple

You're thinking small though. Now if you stole a Pizza he had, then we'd be going somewhere here. Just tell the delivery guy you're DJKaktus and then, BOOM, profit.

Eldritch beings of unimaginable scale, reality-altering things that laugh at our suffering, power-hungry factions fueled with anomalies and righteousness,

hmmmm