RPC Authority

RPC-448 is currently average in height when compared to other Elven Spires.

RPC-448's current height is average when compared to other Elven Spires.

citing a lack opf necessity to do so.

of

RPC-448-related questioning

questionings

have been varied

have been

many attempts at questioning the friendliest of folks

even the friendliest

I'm not afraid to say we know little to nothing about the Wyrmspire.

not

the Corrupting Wars

Corruption War

all of which seems to have disappeared since

seem

as descriptions of "toothed metal wheels" seem awfully similar to the gears we know.

as descriptions of "toothed metal wheels" sounds awfully similar to gears or cogs that we know.

but we simply have no evidence to confirm so.

but since you already had "While"

there's

there are

the stories we hear about it

heard

show any sign of having happened.

showed

initial reconoissance

reconnaissance

the main entry to the Nightmare Road

entry point / entrance

RPC-448 was found to be hollow on the inside

on the inside

extending for an unknown depth

extending into an unknown depth

abnormal extremity length

lengths

so seems to do violence and incoherency

so seems does the depicted violence and incoherency

as viable diving equipment

equipments

allowed purchase of

allowed the purchase of

passage of water in a 1m sphere around the user

(What about the internal liquid of the user?)

continuing exploration on RPC-448.

explorating the / the continued

but do not respond to external stimuli

("stimuli" is used for organisms, this instance would fit better for you to just use "force")

does not appear to correspond

do

Also known as abyssal zones, and lower than 4000m in depth

(The actual depth is determined to be less than 4000m (unless I interpreted it wrong), the difference in pressure to their usual environment meant that they could not exist under non-anomalous sitiuation, and you should specify it)

At around 1200m depth,

(If the above was indeed the 4000m depth, then why would you list it non-linearly)

Use of lighting spells

(Why would you use lightning spell in an salt water environment, if it was not a salt water environment then you'll also have to specify it in in regards of deep sea creatures existing like my above point)

viewing

seeing

Ismael Gowering

(Please add a footnote explaining who he is)

even considering preliminary drafts

even if considering it to be a preliminary draft

says a passersby

passerby

Is it God, or an Authority?

("Authority" should not be capitalized even if in reference to the Authority)

The article never quite delivered on its intrigue that the initial description sets up. The research of the spire should have had a more focus on it, since the whole part about the inhabitants instinctively should have been re-inforced. Perhaps an interview or behavioral analysis would be good for the article.

Please note that I'm not familiar with the history of the middle east.

In terms of grammar, I don't think there is much, I although you should consider changing all of them to British-varient English(single words that you'd be better off finding them via ctrl+F):

theater

theatre

slayed

slain

The Ottomans envisioned their empire as peaceful garden of faiths

a peaceful garden

instill

instil

with their own ethnicites

ethnicities

the occupying British military were being stretched

militaries were / military was

center

centre

court-marshaled

court-marshalled

We established camp at Wadi Rum

a camp

defenses

defences

he its avatar

he its

It's been a honor

an honour

The Stone cast towards the Ottomans

casted

Now, in regards to lore:

• This should still be an acquired media since that literally what it is.
• I would argue that you keep the Library of Mythologies reference(unless pierson doesn't want to write it anymore) because it gives implications as to why it was there considering that it would meant the history depicted were "lost informations".
• I seriously doubt that the Soviet Union would A) Ally itself with the Monarchies unless seriously threaten by the Arab state and B) be in any capacity to wage war against an enemy nation considering the Russian Civil War is still ongoing.
• Towards the end there was this line by Lawrence: "The day had come where I had to choose between staying loyal to Britain or indulging in my fantasies of Arabia."

It was never brought up again without clearly stating Lawrence's ultimate decision which made it somewhat confusing.

Finally, I think it would be great if there was this underlying implication in the texts that the Authority completely overlooked, instead, focusing on the Ottoman AOI.

Middle East-related articles are rare, this is most certainly a great addition to the Authority universe.

also commonly referred as Regional Sites.

referred to as

Regional Sites are the highest point of administrative oversight within an adjacent region

with in their designated regions

Fore more information about Authority Sites

For

until the foundation of the Authority in March, 1834.

(Would it be appropriate to call it the founding of the Authority instead of just a restructuring?)

Southern America continent

American

including several overseas territory

territories

English and Spanish branches.

(Do you mean the English and Spanish Empires? If so where's Portugal?)

bordering REGCOMs

regional commands

with an additional responsibility for space affairs

with additional responsibilities for space affairs.

Each Regional Site contains a AQRF

an AQRF

I love much of the lore presented and here are 2 things of note:

• The designation of Regional Sites should perhaps follow the chronology of their establishment
• Setting AQRF in Regional Sites will simply not be effective, and it's best that you split the total force of AQRF into multiple Sites for quick deployment
• Where the fuck is AQRF during Fail Safe

RPC-194 largely resemble

resembles

It is unknown how RPC-194 transmits this vocalization as decibel meters suggest that no sounds are transmitted.

(Wouldn't it be immediately identified as Telepathy, especially since it knows your native tounge?)

Command: Agent Dashing, please transcribe RPC-194-1. You're the only one here who speaks English as a first language.

Dashing: I speak Welsh.

(Why would Command not be proficient in Cantonese, why wouldn't the log be translated into English either way After they return, it's clearly suggested as such given that the rest of the group spoke English despite "English not being their first language")

Command: Yes, we hear you. We lost you guys for a while there.

Dashing: A few minutes? How many exactly?

(The 2 personnel feel disconnected when the line they're referring to it's not the same: "for a while" & "A few minutes")

Command: 6 minutes and 19 seconds.

Herr: We counted at least an hour of it.

---

Romeo-7 returned to the starting position 3 hours later, and claimed to have taken nearly 20 hours to return.

(This is where the chronological anomaly begins to become inconsistent: Time moved about 9.47 times faster in the first case, where as the latter is about 6.67 times faster, assuming that no conversation were engaged for the duration)

(transcript)

(Sometimes you wrote it in a poetic way, sometimes you just produce simple statements, again, inconsistent)

Required Materials: 4 Atomic Clocks

(I don't see how redesignation would always need "Required Materials:", so it's better for you to write it as something broader like "Additional Request:")

Given that none of the 4 agents seem to be

seems

some form of Dyschronometria

(It's better that Dyschronometria be mentioned in the end of Addendum 1 as a reason why it was considered a Lessor Anomalous Location Actually if Dyschronometria was considered at all why would the Authority considers it even anomalous at all, if a second exploration never occurred, and if no test were ever performed on the MST since they didn't realized it until now what makes the Authority think that it was anomalous and not just hallucinations
they experienced as RPC-194-1)

No amount of non-anomalous countermeasures has proven effective on countering this effect.

in

would be experience the passage of time faster

experiencing

If the rocks outside and the 4 of us are any indication, it's far from contained by being down there. We have to collect it and put it in our containment for the sake of this area.

(This entire operation is based upon the assumption that there even is an external source of the anomaly, what would the Authority do if it was proven false)

this area is definetly affected by 194.

definitely

What is someone built these spikes?

if

I remember reading about giant fields of spikes being potentially used to deter people from entering a place thousands of years after the collapse of human civilization.

(This sentence would have made more sense if you just say that large spikes are used to ward off people or predators, if that's not what you're referring to, then I have no idea what you're talking about)

Maybe humans need to store some things that we don't want cavemen to find out.

(…Humans predate cavemen?)

Should't their voices be slowed down?

Shouldn't

Command, we will radio you again after exactly 1 minute of our time. Do not contact us during this time.

9 seconds pass.

(Here the ratio is 6.67 which remains consistent with the 2nd instances of time discrepancy)

If 194 is capable of temporally effecting it's surroundings

temporally affecting its surroundings

Are you guys also temporally effecting us just from being here?

affecting

Daniels: Is the same thing going to happen to us too?

(How were the Dumpster Divers not being clearly told of this?)

just a cover-up to whatever this is.

cover-up for

clearly did not want us to be here

does not

Whatever build this place

built

this conveniently placed plaque

conveniently-placed

The team reemerged 5 hours later, at 16:00:20, 13/06/83, with their clock displaying 00:21:13, 15/06/83.

(Why would the MST's clock be slower if they supposedly experience time faster)

Agent Decabb takes the book. Its title is The Time Traveller's Handbook.¹

I have no idea what the fuck this is. Command, what…

That is RPC-916. It's a book that manifests for people who have time traveled

(Link 916 to which ever mentioning you want)

Why does a piece of paper make things more likely

(more likely to what?)

My job is to assist in the securing of this facility

security

The world's smartest man can perceive my explanations no more than it's smartest termite.

(Cheeky Watchmen reference)

what other mechanisms lies underneath

lie

My initial problems with the article is how there are multiple times where the flow of events are only dependant on the Authority to be incompetent, which thankfully stoped as the logs continued but then led to another problem. Since you seeked to emulate SCP-2935 as you have previously said I compared 194 to it as such and find it lacking, Throughout the reading of at least 2 or 3 logs I could find myself thinking that it was unnecessary, Your choice to pad out the event into several years also created a disconnect between the readers and the characters which were increased in numbers with each logs. The final problem is that there are almost close to no set up to what was explained in the end, especially the rock being used to power things.

The Great Marshes of Cair Aisling does not receive its name

did not

The Authority's OL-Site for Cair Aisling

(Avoid using shorten titles or designation in a tale unless it is written text)

The higher-ups already forbid any personnel to enter this area.

The higher-ups have already forbidden any personnel from entering this area.

but with the amount of them scattered across the area, their amount simply cannot be counted.

(Repetition, the second "amount" can be replaced with "number")

This ruin of the spire stands tall at the edge of The Great Marshes.

(Repetition, "This ruin of the spire" can be replaced with "its ruins")

he standing up

stood

Gather them all on the entrance

at the entrance

We’ll enter it at once

enter it

there are times where Echo-25 successful with their mission

there are times when Echo-25 is successful with their mission / there are times when Echo-25 is succeeds in their mission
(Using "country" as a way to refer to their specialties isn't appropriate, and could be replaced with "field")

so we’re technically here only to experimenting with it

so we’re technically only here to experiment with it

But still, nobody knows that this will work or not without trying first.

knows if

“Alright. So, in volume three of the Cair Aisling series, this place got mentioned for the first time. Long ago before the chaos in the land of Cair Aisling occurred, this place used to be planned as the treasure storage of the Spire Elves. Yes, the construction was still ongoing at that time, but a large amount of wealth was already kept in the dungeon.”

“Alright. So, in volume three of the Cair Aisling series, this place got mentioned for the first time. Long ago before the chaos in the land of Cair Aisling occurred, this place was planned as a treasure storage for Spire Elves. Yes, the construction was still ongoing at that time, but a large amount of wealth was already kept in the dungeon.”

lead by Soth'er Redmace

led

However, the elves already placed a spell on the spire.

However, they have already placed a spell on the spire:

A magical barrier that prevents anyone gets in or out the spire.

A magical barrier that prevents anyone from geting in or out the spire.

they encountered several huge dark spirits guarded the dungeon

that guarded / guarding

The report did stated

state

Atleast

At least

would be stood out under the daylight

would be

neither Edward nor I lead the whole team.

will lead

on both left and right sides

(can be reduced to "on both sides")

“Well then, we prepare ourselves next to that door before opening it.”

we better

probably some sort of praying.

prayer

whatever shiny down there

shinies

hoped that they won’t rush their way down there

hoping

broom sticks

broomsticks

local myths

Local

these objects were capable of terminating RPC-███-4 instances which were ghosts of NICA soldiers.

these objects were capable of terminating several ghosts of NICA soldiers that we've encountered previously.
(Avoid using shorten titles or designation in a tale unless it is written text)

I and the rest of the Echo-25 held the broom

held our brooms

The evil spirit were already close enough

was

switched weapon with the standard Auctoritas' long sword which

switched to the long sword that

Our weapon

weapons

so my sword accidentally was thrown away

so it knocked away my sword.

The Hotel-5

The

who currently raised his sword as well

(Conflicting Tense: "currently" suggested Present Tense when the sentence was in Past Tense)
who raised his sword as well / whowas raising his sword as well

effectively surrounded us

surrounding

those black shadow

shadows

but their weapon wasn’t

weapons weren't

hold their attack as long as possible

hold their attack for as long as possible

Our weapon bashed against each other

Our weapons bashed against each other's

When was your team entered this place?

When did

These entities' weakness is indeed sunlight

So these

Did you saw

see

came from the spirits

coming

started from the slashed body part

starting
(If you're gonna start the sentence with a verb, use Present Continuos Tense)

upon called

being called

The Echo-25 with flaming broom charged

Echo-25 with their flaming brooms charged

on their ways to the door above.

were on their way

Aren’t it suck,

Doesn't

we still about to die?

we're

that there are survivors

that there will be survivors

they’re the one

ones

We already defeated

We're

We’ve finished burned

burning

Authority planning to find and help Hasan Maza

was planning

were gathered on the spire's wall

were gathered near the

I’ll ask the commander first

I'll have to

Though this tale was good, it was bog down by its grammatical errors. Another problem is the repetitive wording, an example would be this:

The Authority's OL-Site for Cair Aisling, Camp Crannóc, was located near The Beach of Beginning, which is on The Great Marshes' territory. This is one of the three territories that the Authority can explore, along with the Underheim Mountains next to this territory and Wethir territories on the other side. Unfortunately, exploring further beyond this territory will only lead to a dead end.

If you need help, don't hesitate to dm me on discord.

First off, the document reveals that this is an artificial cave system with these hexagonal lava pillars, and the Authority, from their explorations, theorizes these pillars are the product of the temporal hazard. There is a minor issue here: If the cave system is artificial, then the Authority knows that the anomaly isn't the cave, its the facility. They don't figure that out until they find out who built it in the last interview. So if the description is written before that point, they wouldn't know its artificial yet.

It is said the pillars are the product of the temporal hazard generating entropy. But we know from one of the logs, that this entropy isn't a static displacement of time, it is dynamic: That was shown when the MST operative disappeared then reappeared. Why wouldn't then those columns turn back into lava at some points?

In the first exploration log, I don't understand why the operatives wouldn't wait for the second MST team to show up. There isn't an immediate need established to unilaterally investigate. Also, you don't need to put in the mic checks, you can just jump straight to the important dialogue. The dialogue here could use some work too: like they should know spikes in caves (unless these aren't rock formations) are referred to stalagmites if on the ground, and stalactites if on the ceiling. They take samples of these rocks, but as far as I remember, nothing ever happens with these samples - were they the same as normal rocks found in Hong Kong or not? [ I did laugh at the "more fucking caves" line though, so good one there. ]

A big issue I have is when the operatives return to the cave the second time. If the Authority found out that they were anomalously affected being in the cave, why wouldn't they contain them until the effects wore off? There is no indication given that this was done, they just get sent back. If they were still under the temporal effects, they could have jeopardized the mission by effecting equipment beforehand. [ I would assume if you wanted to test their effects with an atomic clock, you would have them in an isolated cell with an atomic clock and on the outside a second clock and just see if there's a change in time. ]

At this point also, why isn't the Authority sending in CSDs for this type of work? They know at this point the anomaly is a temporal hazard, there's no reason to risk the MST operatives' lives by sending them in there, which is exactly what happens later on. Again the dialogue in the second exploration needs some patching up, because it does not sound professional. I get that the operatives may start cursing if there's something that scares them or they get injured, but dropping "fuckery" over to command just broke my immersion.

More minor things: There's a line that says you shave time off your life being there, but no evidence has been provided to show that - did the operatives from '72 grow older or something? We know their stuff did, like one of their houses, but nothing was said about them getting older than normal.

The mechanics behind the disembodied voice warning was also confusing. It was getting angrier when they approached the plaque than when it was at the entrance, but where was it coming from, the hologram woman who was in the orange chest? Is there a speaker somewhere hidden in the cave, and how would it know if there's a human being entering it as opposed to an animal?

When the agents find the hallway after chiseling through the rock, they said it looked older than the cave. I don't know how a highly industrialized structure would look older than volcanic rocks, I would assume the structure would be newer, built into the rock than the other way around.

The plaque itself is just another item that I did not understand. At a certain point, the people behind the anomaly, who put in that voice warning, are now fine if people decide to go further into the cave?

Why didn't the Authority test the crystals first before sending in the MST operatives? When the agent cuts a piece off his suit to test the time dilation effects, this test should have already been done before through testing. What if something goes wrong and he's the only MST operative left? Well because he decided to cut a hole in his suit, that may be the death of the entire team.

Leaving the equipment for the frogmen within the anomaly that messes with time and warps items to becoming older than they are supposed to just strikes me as an unrealistic option. The frogmen team could just bring the equipment with them in a wagon or something, they don't have to wear it all the way through the cave there.

At the end, when this team does find the orange chest, the payoff to the central mystery was not enjoyable, in part due to the unprofessional dialogue and also confusion over how talking to a hologram would provide those sort of responses.

Containment protocals:

is currently guarded

Only ever use currently if you expect it to change in the foreseeable future. like if you expect the location of the entrance to move or get bigger, but that's only if the anomaly changes size or teleports semi-regularly.

Description:

pillars. While RPC-194 largely resemble naturally formed cave systems with

pillars. While RPC-194
also, this sentce uses "RPC-194" as a plural. to fix this try "RPC-194 largely resembles a naturally formed cave system with"

passageways, only

passageways. Only

passageway remains past

passageway remains extends/continues past

increase in temporal entropy within

entropy is a function energy where energy is spread evenly throughout an area. the word entropy does not fit here. I think the phrase you are looking for might be "Significant Space-Time dilation experienced in the area" or "QQQQQ"

area, an effect that is believed to be responsible for the hexagonal rock pillars above RPC-194

"area, as well as the hexagonal pillars surrounding it." or " area, as well as the hexagonal pillars located above ground."
this sentence does not belong in its own paragraph.

The entrance to RPC-194 is also hosting a secondary effect of RPC-194(designated RPC-194-1) with individuals entering RPC-194 being able to perceive a vocal statement being made in the individual's first language. It is unknown how RPC-194 transmits this vocalization as decibel meters suggest that no sounds are transmitted.

rewrite this whole section. "All persons who have entered the mouth of the tunnel system report to hear Bla Bla Bla. The nature of this effect is not yet understood as all Bla Bla Bla no sounds are transmitted."
What ever you write just remember that you are writing an official document. Make it as short and simple to understand as you can. Describe one piece. Describe it clearly and with as few run-on sentences as possible. Then go to the next paragraph, and explain the next piece.