LO-001 TO LO-050

Designation: LO-001
Description: One (1) black Swingline 747 stapler.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever LO-001 is used and successfully dispenses a staple, its magazine is instantly repleted to its maximum capacity of 210 staples. As such, LO-001 appears to have an infinite amount of staples within it. Research is currently undergoing as to how LO-001 obtains these staples.

Designation: LO-002
Description: Blueprint paper and canvas
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Makes a 1/100th model appear of any building plan drawn onto it, and then becomes blank again.

Designation: LO-003
Description: Jar of mayonnaise
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The lid of the jar is impossible to move or turn no matter the force applied.

Designation: LO-004
Description: Pallet of lottery tickets
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When scratched, the amount won is anomalously deposited in the pocket of whomever scratched it. Maximum recorded winning amount is $25.00 USD.

Designation: LO-005
Description: selling display of sunglasses that says "Visit sunny California!"
Site Location: Site-009
Properties: When worn by a sentient creature, the view through the lenses changes to a sunny but unidentifiable Californian beach. Used by Site-009 to demoralize prisoners.

Designation: LO-006
Description: Samsung Galaxy A6
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held by a sentient creature, the phone will emit the sound of an explosion every thirty seconds.

Designation: LO-007
Description: Mechanical Pencil
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When placed on a surface, object will float 1.524 meters (5 feet) above the surface for five minutes before falling.

Designation: LO-008
Description: Solid iron statue
Site Location: Biological Test Site-40
Properties: Depicts Finnish smith deity Ilmarinen. Constantly maintains an even surface temperature of 106 degrees Celsius. Currently an integral part of Biological Test Site-40's emergency power generation systems.

Designation: LO-009
Description: 14 x Miniaturized Air-to-Air Nuclear Rockets
Site Location: Radiological Storage Site-68
Properties: Objects are functionally identical to AIR-2 "Genie" nuclear rockets at 300:1 miniature scale. Objects appear to function as normal, generating a 1.5kt nuclear blast when activated.

Designation: LO-010
Description: Artificial Pacemaker
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Causes painful heart fibrillation whenever its implantee makes a charitable donation or volunteers their time towards a charitable event or benefit. Otherwise functions normally.

Designation: LO-011
Description: IPhone 5s cellular telephone with a lightning bolt case
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item never runs out of charge. The material of the batteries is currently unknown and under study.

Designation: LO-012
Description: Pair of denim pants
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item renders the wearer invisible, however, only in the area the pants cover.

Designation: LO-013
Description: A 100-watt GE light bulb
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Light constantly emanates from the bulb even when it is not connected to a power source. Currently being used to light the Site Director's custom desk lamp.

Designation: LO-014
Description: A brand for cattle meat with an ancient Jewish inscription.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Makes a semi-sentient and fully loyal animated golem out of any quantity of meat branded. Meat will become inanimate and fall apart if the mark of the brand is removed or destroyed.

Designation: LO-015
Description: A species of mushrooms
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Mushrooms are made entirely of silica despite having the same growth cycle as common mushrooms. Only 3 grow at a time, a new mushroom growing when a previous dies.

Designation: LO-016
Description: A 22.7-kilogram sack of "jelly bean" candy
Site Location: Site-016 Missing
Properties: Eating the candy induces sensations of extreme euphoria. Candies are identical in chemical composition to non-anomalous instances.

Designation: LO-017

LO-17.jpg

Example of the visual anomaly.

Description: Black-framed window pane
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Looking through the glass of the window pane reveals a dramatically different environment of the location than the current observed one. Scenes and environments displayed through the window are observed in daylight and are described as "dystopian, post-apocalyptic, deserted" or simply "the end of the world."

Designation: LO-018
Description: M16A1 Rifle
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: User will faintly hear Fortunate Son by the band Creedence Clearwater Revival upon the expenditure of the first cartridge in any loaded magazine. Persists until the rifle is reloaded.

Designation: LO-019
Description: Roll of toilet paper
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon observation, the paper of the roll will unravel in the opposite direction of the user's preference. Video surveillance shows the roll to be unopened and unrolled.
Note: This piece of fucking shit is going into the emergency supplies, I won't be dealing with this every god damn time I go take a shit in sector █ -Dr. ██████

Designation: LO-020
Description: Nintendo GameBoy video game system
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Users demonstrate greatly increased degree of focus and decreased reaction times when playing games..

Designation: LO-021
Description: Amazing! Co. "eco-friendly" computer mouse
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When plugged into a compatible device, LO-021 transforms into an otherwise ordinary specimen of Mus musculus1. In this state, LO-021 will still be attached to the computer via a USB cable extending from its tail. While transformed, LO-021 can still be used for regular input, with the left posterior foot replacing the left click button's function, and the right posterior foot replacing the right click button's function. Rubbing LO-021's back will perform the same function as a normal scroll wheel would. When unplugged, LO-021 will transform back into a computer mouse.

Designation: LO-022
Description: IKEA EKENÄSET Armchair
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When sat on, any language the user speaks is interpreted as Swedish.

Designation: LO-023
Description: Bugatti Veyron sports car
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon entering the vehicle, the user's personality changes, becoming both egotistical and elitist. This personality change is temporary, lasting approx. 5 days.

Designation: LO-024
Description: A 1982 film copy of Blade Runner.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When viewed on any screen, the viewer is anomalously transported into the world on-screen, and forced to become an extra for the duration of the film before being returned to their original position. Viewers describe being unable or unwilling to interfere with the production of the film outside limited walking ability.

Designation: LO-025
Description: A low-wattage coherent energy weapon
Site Location: Site-99
Properties: The weapon shoots a laser beam capable of releasing 1 kW of energy in a single blast. The handle and trigger were designed for a three-fingered creature. It is believed to have belonged to a Selohssa soldier prior to its recovery.
Note: Selohssa have yet to be documented in this solar system. This might mean that there are actual Selohssa in the solar system and not just probes. Though how it got to the moon of all places is beyond me. -Dr. Khan.

Designation: LO-026
Description: Immortal Fish Animate fish toy
Site Location: Site-███, Currently in the break room aquarium.
Properties: The fish needs no food and has not expired past its species' natural lifespan.
Fish has been found to be an incredibly well-made rubber toy, but still moves like a natural fish.

Designation: LO-027
Description: Adidas-brand Tracksuit
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When worn, The subject is only able to speak in English with a stereotypically "Russian" accent. If the subject does not speak English, they will immediately learn how to do so upon donning the suit.

Designation: LO-028
Description: A portable toilet
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When exiting, the user materializes outside of a seemingly random portable toilet anywhere in the world. Practical testing is ongoing.

Designation: LO-029
Description: Color digital camera
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When used to photograph a location, that location will suddenly experience optical anomalies similar in appearance to the northern lights phenomenon until the photograph is destroyed. Research is being made into any connection with RPC-050

Designation: LO-030
Description: One (1) CZ 75 semi-automatic pistol
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-030 appears to have an infinite amount of 9×19mm Parabellum cartridges in its magazine.

Designation: LO-031
Description: 30 ml of Human blood
Site Location: Site-008
Properties: Cells inside the blood seem to be able to conduct electricity extremely well. Chemical analytics shows blood to contain an unknown element.

Designation: LO-032
Description: One (1) Tyrannosaurus rex skull, carbon-dated to be 65,000,000 years old.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When held, LO-032 will vocalize the phrase “Get rekt, [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!” from the base of its skull.

Designation:f LO-033
Description: One (1) red Pilot Acroball Ballpoint Pen, 14.2 cm in length.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: LO-033 seems to contain an infinite amount of red ink. It’s hypothesized that a spatial anomaly exists somewhere within the tube that contains the ink.

Designation: LO-034
Description: One (1) pair of Nike™ Air Jordan IV "White Cement Colormax" sneakers.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Item LO-034 increases the speed with which the wearer moves by approximately 110%. Fine motor control becomes difficult. Item kept in Site-016’s Alpha-White anomaly storage compartments.

Designation: LO-035
Description: One (1) wooden chair
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a human sits upon LO-035, the item will begin to levitate 10 meters off the ground. The item will return to an inert state and slowly return to the ground if the subject leaves the chair.
Note: Following several minor injuries, LO-035 is no longer available for use during Site-016 social events.

Designation: LO-036

036.jpg

"Queasy Green" Color.

Description: Fifteen (15) "Crayola" brand crayons
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When used to color, the last crayon used causes the emotional feeling described on the crayon, such as "Angry Red." When said color is used, all subjects reported an angry emotion. They had no recollection of what they are angry at. This property is the same with all other colors, such as "Feeling Down Blue," "Beaming Yellow," and "Afraid Lavender."

Designation: LO-037
Description: Ten (10) lbs of Flan
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a subject removes a piece from LO-037, the item will use a kind of cellular mitosis normally found in Asteroidea to regrow the piece removed. The item is kept in Site-016’s cafeteria. No harmful effects are found when eaten, may cause weight gain if overindulged.

Designation: LO-038
Description: Mauser C96 Pistol (Converted into "DL44" Blaster prop from the Star Wars franchise)
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon sight of the prop, all subjects will vocalize the phrase "Han schoot eerst!"2 in perfect Dutch, despite prior knowledge of the Star Wars franchise or the Dutch language.

Designation: LO-039
Description: White, Amazing! Co. American Standard Toilet.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Upon seating on the toilet and defecating in it, individuals express the realization of knowledge they didn't have before, as expressed by some users as "an epiphany". The object was discovered after installing it in one of the restrooms of Site-016 without prior inspection of the item's brand. Toilet stall has been labeled as "LO-039", personnel entering it to use it are to be provided a notepad and a pen in case they experience a revelation while using the object, to limit persistent graffiti problems.

Designation: LO-040
Description: Amazing! Co. brand, RPC Authority patterned gift wrap paper.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Items contained in boxes wrapped with the paper will transform into a varying size lump of coal. The object was recovered from a purchase made by Site-002 for Boxing Day preparations. The paper was tested due to its eye-catching print, revealing all gifts wrapped with it turned into lumps of coal.

Designation: LO-041
Description: Black Onyx statuette that has been worn by age, roughly resembles Ishtar of Mesopotamian myth, or the goetic demon Astaroth.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When a piece of paper with an appropriate name of an existing person or entity is within 1m of the statuette, the edge of what is possibly a moon or a snake-like object in the right hand of the statuette will strike forward piercing the paper. The paper will then catch flame, and from that point on within one week of this event, the person or entity will appear before the subject and profess their love for them, and then physically hurt the subject in a way most personally painful to them before leaving or disappearing.
Note: It sure would be nice if a certain someone would stop using this to get me to traipse across the base just for a kiss every year! - Junior Researcher ███████

Designation: LO-042
Description: A copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams.
Site Location: Site-099
Properties: When opened, the contents of the book are replaced with, seemingly, an actual traveller's guide to the Milky Way galaxy. Practical use of this anomaly is ongoing, and its contents are currently being verified by astronomers.

Designation: LO-043
Description: A rubber dummy, commonly used in martial arts.
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The object is capable of independent motion and demonstrates sapience. It is unable to move from its base, and does not appear to require nourishment of any kind to survive. RPC designation is pending.

Designation: LO-044
Description: One (1) bottle of Sprite soft drink
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When emptied, LO-044 immediately refills with more Sprite.

Designation: LO-045
Description: One (1) AK-47
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: When LO-045 is fired the item will vocalize several explicit words in the Russian language without firing any actual ammunition.

Designation: LO-046
Description: One (1) 4 x 4 meter glass pane
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: The anomalous properties of LO-046 manifest when any biological substance or matter that is placed in front or behind the object will not appear to any observers.

Designation: LO-047
Description: One (1) Macbook Air laptop
Site Location: Site-016
Properties: Whenever LO-047 is opened, flames burst out of its screen. LO-047 is somehow not damaged by this.

Designation: LO-048
Description: One sanitary pad, ████ brand.
Site Location: Site-008.
Properties: Object will materialize on the underwear of male personnel entering the 3rd Floor, West Wing restrooms. The item will vanish afterward if not directly observed. Analysis of the item shows trace amounts of sweat and [REDACTED].
Note by Researcher Collins: Please calm down and stop reporting this thing. It's a harmless clean sanitary pad, it won't kill you guys.

Designation: LO-049
Description: Unknown Substance
Site Location: Site-███
Properties: LO-049 is a dark corrosive substance that absorbs all forms of radiation. LO-049 is believed to be produced by RPC-240-Ω. LO-049 is currently under study at Site-███ by the Chemistry Department.

Designation: LO-050
Description: One (1) Teapot
Site Location: N/A. See properties
Properties: LO-050 is a common teapot located at coordinates + ██° ██' ██'' in █.██ au of distance from Earth, in the orbit of the Sun. Other than its existence, LO-050 demonstrates no other anomalous properties.

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