RPC-145

20

gamma-orange.png

Registered Phenomena Code: 145

Object Class: Gamma-Orange

Hazard Types: Sapient Hazard, Transmutation Hazard, Newtonian hazard, Tychokinetic Hazard

Containment Protocols: RPC-145 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment facility under constant surveillance. In the event that full attention cannot be used on RPC-145, the containment facility is to be injected with sleeping gas. The entity is to be forcefully restrained at all times to a large chair.

As RPC-145 operates under a non-euclidean form of logic where situations occur under the perspective of what an outside viewer may find comedic or humorous, any setups to potentially amusing scenarios are to be avoided. Old storytelling tropes, such as "begging the question" or "being too literal" trigger RPC-145's most reality-breaking effects. As such, as little communication as possible around the entity is the best method to secure containment.

Description: RPC-145 is a 1.3-meter tall humanoid with a large nose, circular eyes, and drooping ears. It wears a colorful suit, a monocle, and a top hat. RPC-145 possesses minor reality-warping powers that share similarities with animated cartoon tropes. RPC-145 seems to use these powers for its own amusement but does not have any inherently malicious intent.

RPC-145 has shown itself to be extremely durable. In its containment at site-██, the entity has been crushed, burned alive, shot in the face, stabbed, electrocuted, dismembered, and poisoned, and has made an almost instantaneous recovery when unobserved. RPC-145 has almost no aversion to danger, only looking at the closest RPC personnel or camera and taking a large gulp of air before being harmed.

When unobserved, RPC-145 has the ability to teleport freely within a confined area. Measured speeds indicate RPC-145 can go up to ██ km/h. It likes to use this ability to startle personnel. When RPC-145 enters a room with one or more people inside, all of them will hear music consisting of a quick kazoo solo. This effect is purely memetic, as security cameras with audio capability will record no music coming from RPC-145.

Discovery: RPC-145 was noticed by the RPC Authority after numerous police reports were filed in █████████, Pennsylvania about a "deformed-looking man who frequently and nonchalantly self-mutilated himself in front of children". RPC-145 was lured to Site-██ under the guise that Site-██ was a television broadcast station. ██ personnel were fatally wounded in attempting to contain RPC-145 due to its then-unknown anomalous abilities. Successful containment occurred after enough experimentation was performed on RPC-145 for chemical weaknesses which could be used for containment procedures.

Addendum A: Further interviews with RPC-145 are to be canceled. All staff are to be explicitly reminded that RPC-145, despite its outward exterior as a goofy cartoon character, is extremely lethal in the wrong circumstances. Nobody in real life would've lasted five minutes in those old shows, anyway. -Dr. H███

« RPC-144 | RPC-145 | RPC-146 »

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License